I've been trying to read a lot more, trying with all my might to keep my slackass brain occupied, and yet I'm so jaded ("oh you're so jaded baby I'm afraid of you"). The next 10 days are going to be bad bad bad. Why must I miss people? It's not healthy at all. Never supposed to miss anyone.

*slouch*

I answered Justin's get-to-kno-you thing again today out of pure boredom. Even if I answer 10 of the same kind I'll always put different answers...well mostly. Actually sometimes they're quite insightful. The fateful - is the glass half empty or half full? Eventually it ended up that my answer is half empty. Pessimist. Blah. I've changed a lot.

How did that happen? I've so many experiences that have just led my soul to become bitter,hard, pessimistic, bitchy...everything bad? Haha. That's painful in itself, to see me change from a pretty clean soul to a nasty ugly one. So I've got some good parts still I'll admit, but there's that ugly side. I'm bad :(

How can I let myself go? I guess I can't get "good" overnight. Blah... I'm just a little tired of having absolutely no life and/or not making use of the life I have as it is properly. My ideals for how my life should be has made me impatient and stupid.

It saddens me that I scare away certain people. Perhaps it's my loneliness, my only-child syndrome thing, my lack of a life or well what I would consider a life. Apparently I've got too much time on my hands tonight (waiting on certain people to arrive). So *poof*