Somehow I'm still grumpy, but not so much now. Surfing around the net and reading and just chilling out has helped me quite a bit. I've realised this over the past few months.

I should go with my own instinct no matter what anyone says. *sigh* Alas I have tried other people's way and it just has not worked. I do "what's best" and it has not worked. If some people would just leave me alone, no matter how much they care, no matter how much they try to help, I know that somehow things will work out. It's not like I don't appreciate people trying to help, but there's comes a point when you're coerced into doing something you really don't want to do, and the result is that you shouldn't have done it in the first place.

You know you say to yourself, ok, maybe they're right, maybe this is best for me and my life. Only you know yourself. Hopefully. Well I think I know myself well enough.

Hmm what am I rambling about? Few will find out. It's not about friendship or anything...it is about stuff that has made me go through a kind of hell I really don't want to again.

Sad day. Moving along. It's all experience I guess. Wasted time, wasted money, wasted energy. All of this to show me what again? Good Lord. Give me a break already.