"I never would have opened up but you seemed so real to me, and after all the bullshit I have heard it's refreshing not to see, that I don't have to pretend..." Sarah rocks.

I am still in a mood, but I had to blog this despite Blogger shitups. My high period has gone. Whoopee. Why does it take so little to upset me, and so much to mend? My soul is so fragile...maybe more than it seems. My facade..ahh that...when inside is so brittle. I break so easily...but only when it's serious.

"I'm so afraid to love you, more afraid to lose, clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose" More Sarah. All her lyrics just amaze me...how do they connect...how they tell of my story...my history, my present.

These are the times I sit and cry, wallow in my own shallow self pity, these are my lows, my ends. It deteriorates so quickly from being a slight pissy mood to such deep depression and noone knows. Noone understands. "It's easy we all falter, but does it matter?"

I push away those I love most and live in the deepest doubt and pessimism I can muster. Fear. "I have nothing to give, and I have so much to lose here in this lonely place, tangled up in your embrace, there's nothing I'd like better than to fall."