Euughhh...this morning the phone awoke poor moi @ 7:15. By this time I should have been up and moving, but I wasn't - I don't know why. Just before I slept I got extra frustrated. It's a little hard making decisions by yourself when it's supposed to be a team effort. When you get no support from someone who needs to at least try to understand and offer some kind of assistance, it's really uncool. Here we go again with the realisation that no one's your friend and no one gives a rat's ass about you. Every man for himself...no don't bullshit me and say no how is that true? It is...take it from me.

I wonder why I'd given up before? Maybe it's this exact reason which I see looming again. If it continues without relief I shall have to take action no doubt. I have to reply to that letter...and I can't until I get some kind of...support - somewhere...from the source that is. Fuck.

Can I be more vague? :) Maybe. Only the close will find out - but the close haven't inquired - maybe I'm kinda happy about that too - or otherwise neutral. I suppose I will explode at someone...or him at some point...though last night was ...well only half and explosion just a baby boom.

I'm sick of men. Good to look at, good to do other things to, as for anything emotional - I need some reassurance of such. If you want emotion from me, better fucking show me some. I turn off. *click*