"I think we should save this talk for in person" Such a smart child. Now it dawns. Someone got hit with the Clue stick? Wowser.
"...you must be out of your mind jellyhead you've really done it" ~Crush Jellyhead Asshole.

You'd think I'd be sleeping by now. I just wanna hide away now. I've told everyone goodnight. They've gone actually. Most. The solitude is welcoming - yet not.
I'm going on a Justin rant. Now I know what he was talking about... At least he's in school - he interacts with people. I'm more of a hermit of late. I don't get out of these fuckin mountains save for class, my weekly meeting, and that's it.

I've gotten too used to this whole digital socialization. The comfort of hiding behind it is getting me disconcerted and irritated. I'm tired of not seeing people's eyes. I'm tired of being...Lovy. When do I go back to being Tracey? When do I go back to being real? I have a rep or something. I'm "nice". I'm this online chic some of the boys are mad interested in. How weird. What the hell. All of my ex's have been people I've actually met online. Geezus Christ. This isn't to put anyone down and it's not that it wasn't solid and true, but just to think...egads! I am lame!!!! I am an ugly fewl who can only pick up uglyboys when I'm out. Mom says to wish them away. Right. I'm still lame. I pick up with my dashing personality - which in it's bitchness attracts the freaks more. I don't get it. I try to be a bitch. They don't understand that I am, that I'm not kidding. Somewhere in there though I have some kind of personality no doubt. What attracts people is mind-boggling though.

Ok straying. Eek. I am fed up of it all. I want a change. I need to stay away from this shit. I need a fucking social life. No a REAL one!!! I need to hang with the people I talk to. I live too far away. Need to move out...of here...the country too... Fucking parents. Bastards!!! Now I don't even have a fucking mountain to gawk at. Someone take me in please. Everyone stays away because I'm way far. Fuckery. Then mother will say - you need a life, all scornfully. FUCK I know this! Yes mother you lived in the fuckin 'burbs. Whose FAULT is it that I'm living under God's fuckin toenail huh?

Straying again. What was my 1st point? Oh..digitalism. Tired now. I have just typed out my fucking emotions. *sigh* Pathetic. People are too lazy now. I guess that's the trend. I still think it's lame in a way. I can't do without my net. I can't do without my main squeezes on ICQ and MSN. Ughhh.

I just spent an hour on this. cutting pasting backspacing deleting adding thinking.

Trace is not amused.