From Marc. Good grief.

The Top 9 Excerpts from a Parakeet's Blog

9 "I am molting. My reflection mockingly reveals the unfiltered bleakness of my existence. Sartre was right all along. Worse, the unrelenting attempts of the wingless giant to coax mimicked speech from the darkness of my soul are... Oboy! Fresh seed!"

8 "Breakfast skipped it. Lunch a few pecks at the seed bell. Dinner pin feathers from my tail."

7 "I don't think I mentioned lately how much I love my cuttlebone. What do they make these things out of, anyway? I hope it's not something gross."

6 "As I'm typing this blog entry, I've received three instant messages asking for my age, sex, and wingspan."

5 "Owners forgot to remove the blanket today, so I took the opportunity to develop my vacation slides."

4 "Through perseverance and unobtrusive wing signals, I have at last enlisted the aid of the dog. Tonight I escape this damned cage and then, VENGEANCE!!!"

3 "The other bird mocks me still. I shift to the side, he shifts to the side. I bob my head, he bobs. Why won't he talk?"

2 "Man, this would sure be easier if I could touch-type instead of hunt-and-peck."

and the Number 1 Excerpt from a Parakeet's Blog...

1 "As I stare endlessly through the gilded bars of my physical confines, the only thought that passes through the void of my existence is 'Damn the crackers! Damn those tasty crackers!'"

Rofl. Why does this remind me of Cassandra Claire and Stef? I don't know.