what do you do when u miss the person
the only one who can calm you
and they're not there
and you know the comfort is temporary
and you know it disguises the reality of...everything
and yet you smile because you just enjoy them
just fucking because.

and you continue to smile on...in this lie that you live

surrounded by so many
and yet alone.
if they only knew how you felt.
but then i don't know how i really feel. it's all this big mess of nothing..and yet something...emotion and none...i'm a walking contradiction.

when you miss humanity...flesh...warmth...
when through some strained chords you feel your heart being pulled from your body
when you feel your soul nowhere.

spare me.