I'm doing some work and I have my new design pretty much done, and have done certain things. Just to pull everything together now. Fast. I am trying to make deadlines for myself. Really. Have a few things on my to do list, a few very big important time-consuming monsters of things, and I dont really mind. Feeling very weird. At least I'm not bored. What can I say?

I have no life but my work now. Guess this way I can concentrate on getting my life back together and get somewhere in my life - where I need to be - where I needed to be so long ago. I think. Am incoherent and talking out of my ass apparently. Right. So. Off to bed I go - a girl needs her rest, but I'll be thinking and writing list things and ideas and the like. It never stops until my eyes close and I fall away.

Empowerment? Stupidity? Hmm hello bed.
Hah Stef now I reallllly sound as if I'm on heroin. Christum!

You know what? Screw Tobago at the end of the month. I really don't need it. I really don't. It's not like I'll have fun anyway. (I can just smell the sour grapes a mile off) I mean, heck I don't even like to party. I'm also not looking good enough to even breathe around the sets of gorgeous people, flaunting themselves around in skimpy clothes. I do not need a sink in self esteem at this point in time. Let me save my dwindling money. If I'm being sponsored I'll go - hahaha big joke.

Yes I need a fucking vacation - and to do so I need $ and well you know the rest. Vicious stupid cycle. Urk. Dammit.