surrender

You know you've had enough when you've cried all the tears there are to cry; when you can't even feel to cry anymore; when tears want to come and refuse you the pleasure; when all you can do is smile and get on with it.

My life is made up of extremities; happy, sad; cold, hot; black, white; love, hate. The inbetweens are surreal and I am pseudo-happy to some extent at either extreme. Paradoxical really.

Bad day. Sorta. Horrible pics. Ugh. Uninspired and atrocious.

Ugly day.

Side rant on particularly upsetting friendship(?) thingy

Friendships are a big deal for me as you may have already gathered (if not *swat*). I don't consider said one a mistake. Perhaps my actions were a bit premature. High expectations. Evil. Clearly not everyone has same value on friendship as I do. Sad I suppose in a way, but at least I learnt a very valuable lesson. Check me back for that later. (Maybe it's : Don't be an idiot)
I can't reveal all here. I was wrong and the person was also wrong - but does not want to admit it and also does not want to really fight for friendship (I assume from actions). Fine. Person cannot be in my aura at this stage. I poured my heart out and most of my feelings toward situation to no avail. I don't know if I made any difference. Have done what I can. May have to wait. I am leaving it alone. A friendship, as any kind of relationship, is a two way street. Christ meet me halfway. Please! Communicate! Am I not worth it? I believe I am worth that much - especially if I think the other one is. Issues given, I'm even willing to let that slide a bit.
Guess now I know how it feels in a way and should apologise profusely to someone else...
Karma...

Sleep. Fuckit.