blasé

Music: Supreme Beings of Leisure/Jason Mraz
Scent: Hemp Seed Body Lotion in Summer
Mood: Chillout

That's the general vibe.

I should be doing one of the following:
writing film paper
painting
reading
making flash cards

I'm not doing any of them. Bad me.

Last night was one of the times I'm sorry I didn't have the camera. Dammit! We stopped at Sky first for this seriously sick jam/open mike session called Speakeasy. I heard today that was the best one ever - interesting since a film crew from BET was shooting. I'd heard about it before but never got a chance to go. Now I just want to go back. It so well-organised and well attended (as far as I've seen) so I'm proud of that. Excellent! My sorta thing. Now if only I was a musician. Hermal told me I could get stuff displayed there too. More on that later.

The 51 lime didn't work out - not that it surprised me in the least. Makes no fucking sense lining up to pay to go somewhere and be overcharged at that. So I dressed up for nothing! Ok I lie, sometimes it's okay to look good though - kinda fun being girly. Haha what is wrong with me? Picking jewellery and clothes. Har. I am vain.

Later we went to Pier 1 (aka kiddie paradise) to Soca Loaded. It was my first soca concert of sorts - very interesting. H say he felt like a daddy. Snort. I was tuning out the so-called "Trini grown" Jamaican-spitting performers and checking out their sound system. Dars and I have decided to talk like that all week ... jah rastafari...wha a gwan? After that it's all babble babble babble.

The soca was alright I guess - you know me, not the biggest soca fan on earth. I was actually hoping I was on stage filming or whatever. A set of manufactured, well choreographed sets, carefully made images - ah entertainment.

Also...the peace sign is making a comeback? *eyeroll*

We left after the music shut off. :) The boys had fun... alot of fun. We did too. Good people good lime... nice. That is all I need.

It is rainy and I'm glad to be home. It really does not seem Fridayish and my bodyclock is telling me things like sleep now at 2 pm.

On my soul being displayed etc etc:

I'm not sure if I want to do that - share my art with the public in that sort of way.
What the hell would it matter?
There is nothing particularly distinctive or special about my work that makes it stand out somehow and be marketable, and furthermore, I don't even want to be marketable that way right now. I have enough on my plate. Course it can't hurt right? So I get people asking annoyin questions and shit. I get a few fans, a few haters, la la la. Big deal.
What the hell does it matter?
No idea. Have not been thinking too hard about it apparently.
I'm not looking for fame - I like being invisible sometimes. I'm not looking to sell inferior work to fuck with potential buyers.
I don't know what I want.

This is the shittiest blog I've written for a while. Sorry - it's not happening today man. This is a warm up to writing my paper, and somehow the words don't want to come out like they should. That's just how it is - so you lap it up and enjoy the simplicity of nothingness for a while. Why fight it? I'll be eloquent later. So long suckers!