introspection

I'm sort of inside myself again, antisocial, separated from many people who I consider close, and missing them immensely. I must however pursue this part of my life's journey and it requires "me time". I am alone, yet not. My life is great and since school is done (finally!) I can now breathe a sigh of relief. Things can finally start taking off once more.

In some ways school pretty much had my "other" life stunted, stalled for so many years. In other ways though it's been beneficial beyond comprehension and I value all of it. 

So now where do I go? I'm just going, doing. I think I need to do more art though and surround myself with just art, all day, every day. I want to live, breathe and snort art. I don't want anyone to bother me either.

I want to travel the world , to just leave it all behind for a while (forever?). It's difficult when you realise how much there is to leave behind, to leave technology, material things, family and friends. To separate yourself from the herd is the most difficult thing to deal with, especially when you realise you will never be them, never be one of the crowd, and your life is somewhere else. To even conceive the notion that you belong nowhere, and that you are not of this world, is difficult.

I must forcibly detract myself from certain things because deep down I know it's not what I want. Now begins living for me only. Selfish, but necessary. Perhaps I do belong elsewhere. 

I frequently meet people, hang out with people, enjoy it fully, but know this is not where I belong. I hope you don't think of this post as dark - it's merely different. It's also just okay.