Bawd. Quiet (too too too) day home with family. Joy of joys. Beach please? Oh class tomorrow. Better start woking on my project. Does anyone know where I can get vellum to buy here? La la la.

I got awoken this morning to see the remaining bit of the opening of the World Cup. Was alright. Saw the first and only goal for the France-Senegal match. *snicker* Oh dear the poor Frenchies. Petit is still hot...am noticing Thierry... :) Ah yes the eye candy time again.

Gym. *grumble* Lordee. Monday for sure. Considering they're closed for the weekend, eeuughh.

Lime? Blah. Yes. Somewhere cool and inexpensive...like...not having to pay a stinky entrance fee.

Grr. I hate that place. It's so stupid. Goodish pizza though. Hmm. I need money dammit.

Good day for the beach today...but all I get is Pricedumb with bratty cousin aunt and mother. Oh well.

I have Everything but the Girl though. Wheeee!

There is a bird that refuses to leave the house, and keeps flying around. Bad omen? It's a black bird, white white under its wings. Interesting really. I'm researching omens, but hell I dunno what species this is, so maybe someone will die. Fun. Not. I believe he shat on my desk. Ugh. Guh-ross. Good luck? Hah!
Oh look... I believe he's gone!

Miss Universe. Ok so I was bored and I watched it. Yay go Miss Russia! The vennie was physically perfect but dumb as a pencil. Tsk. Good choice, the others sucked.

Tool is good. Lateralus is very goddamn long. *snickers slighty @ "Ticks and Leeches"*

Have accomplished work today. Go me!
Hungry though. There is no mac n cheese in this house. Blasphemy! Nothing (I want) to feed my growing tapeworm. *sniffle* Don't want cereal dammit.

*fights with tablet wrapper* Grr grr stupid.. *pierces with sharp manicure instrument on desk*
Ahh. Druggs.

So I was up on the north coast today. Started off very rainy and bleak, with seemingly no hope for sun. Got up to Maracas, and it was clearing up, and then as we drove further east, it was really dry, but with cloud cover. Las Cuevas, La Filette, Blanchiseusse. I haven't been up on that side since I was realllly young, so it was lovely. Dars and I were there, enjoying the ride, scoping the scenery.

Dammit...Blanchiseusse now has really beautiful homes. Wow! There's one some ass built almost on a cliff... lord, one wave, poof. Talk about fighting it. Anyway, the beach was cool (wavy), and the river pretty nice and cool...very refreshing (read coldish), but good good. Idiot though, hey no setta sun, forget the sunscreen. So thennn The sun came out.... hot.

You know whose face, shoulders, back, chest, lobster-like right now. :)
Hungout by kev for a while, then headed home. Woo. Fun fun.

Mother cleaned my room .Argh!! Yes I should be grateful for oh having everything out of its place, no more magazines on the floor by my bed, no dust bunnies to keep me company at night. Tsk how I shall miss them.

I had a baddish dream about Stac earlier, so I'm hoping she's alright.

"People need trouble -- a little frustration to sharpen the spirit and toughen it. Artists do; I don't mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance.
Only vegetables are happy." ~ William Faulkner

Am sleepy. Day at beach. Wheeee. Thank yous Kevsy.

*cough hack cough*
Huwo.

Take the What
animal best portrays your sexual appetite?? Quiz


Had to be Rich to send this one.

Last week, I was standing on the curb waiting for a taxi with my mom. I happen to look to my right and there's a couple walking up, skinny tall Indian guy with glasses... not bad looking, and a short twiggy Indian girlfriend at his side. They're almost holding hands, or are or something. I'm thinking...oh how sweet - die. Ok..no but really - how sweet (mush alert). So they stand oh to my left, making skinnyboy next to me. I'm looking mostly to my right, not really taking them on much because I want to get a taxi as quickly as possible. We finally get a taxi and they get it instead - dammit! Just then we get one. Yay! We settle down in the taxi and mom whispers "You eh see how that fella was checkin you out with the gf right there?" Me: LOL hard in taxi. That was the highlight of the morning.
Instantaneous ego boost. Go me! I guess...

The beach.
Hmm. Well I went. It was alright I suppose, if only my lungs weren't mucky and congested with crap I'd have been able to get a better workout there, but ah well. Mom got me new drugs. Woo hoo. She's banned me from gym tomorrow though (let's hope I feel better now shall we?). I'm getting sleepy...so very sleepy...

That thing I was supposed to write about last night, which I couldn't remember.
Friday I managed to pick up a taxi driver. Oh dear Lord. The man is what? Mid 30's early 40's? Gah. If he was about 15 years younger and without the baldspot I may have paid him a second glance but good grief. Asking me this and that. Blech. Guessing my age. Thinking I'm foreign. Eeek. Where do I find these creatures? Argh.

The net is so so so slow it's not funny anymore. Dammit man.

Where to start?

Wonderful, I feel slightly more comfortable now that I have something to drink and my throat doesn't feel as graterish. *cough* Ugh.

I miss the gym. I feel all gross again. Yesterday evening was coming home and saw someone going and felt a pang of guilt and yearning. I'm not really well enough to go mind you, onsidering I'd hack all over, leave moregerms than necessary and probably oh..die.

My net connection really sucks.

Oh....my...! I've been reading (properly) through a friend's songs...he writes very very well. Rather amazing indeed. Kudos to you T. Love your style and I await the other albums. This is inspiration to write again, but I know I can't right now. Or just won't. :(

Urgh 5 am ... sun will be up in a while. No one around (yuh think?)

Comics. Mail. Blogs. That's what's been up for the past hour or so.

It's Sunday already? Good grief!!! I don't know where my weeekend goes you know. Really don't.
Yesterday I had class, came home, went out again with some of my GATT folks, ot home limed a while with them, drugged self, slpt and well here I am. I should have slept more but you know me, ust maddeningly stubborn and needing my net fix. Oh right...I would have no slept if it had not been for a suckass net connection. Right - missed everyone :(

Birds have started chirping and well the chickens have been squawking for a while. Aww it's a lovely sound.

I suppose I have something more to talk about, but I am distracted by my comics.

When I finally get a fucking complimentary ticket I can't go. Fuckin A!!


I Am
Cetnenn
Celtic Goddess of War.
I like combat boots and big guns and throwing annoying people into walls.
What Celtic Goddess are You?
Quiz by Aoibhell


What's Your Sexual MO? Find out @ She's Crafty

Coughing incessantly. Not in ebullient sort of mood. Bah.

Yes yes yes am home and safe! Wheeee!
It's hot, I was very miserable in town.
*sigh*
Interview. *grunt*
It's very interesting when the interviewer knows close family of yours. You wonder hmmmmmmmm. This is good or bad? T'was not v positive. Am scared.

...and which lesser Harry Potter character are you?

Rofl.

Gods. Voice in mess. Throat in mess. Decided to go to interview. Am v stubborn bastard.

/add drug Codeine.
V sleepy again. Here doing nothing of importance because cannot concentrate to do anything...can barely type. Whole body achy. Throat feeling ick, feeling that if I talk anymore will not be able to speak again for rest of life. Feel like Ariel (wittle mermaid). I hope I don't miss any more gym days - this is ridiculous now.

I slept away almost entire day, not feeling so great at all. I missed an important meeting as well which I may get to do tomorrow, if they don't fire me before they even hire me. Gah. Throat...nasal...sinus...bastard. I don't get sick dammit!!! Drug : Drixoral (spel.). This has me feeling v. woozy...wow... almost a Comtrex effect. Have gotten weak apparently.
Toy-playing has been postponed.

Deep thoughts with...me : No one's online at 9 am cept foreign people (it's like evening by them), and workin folks who are too busy to talk anyway. Boring.

Remix of Darren Hayes Insatiable. Hmm. Yeh it's nice. I admit to liking this one. V big wuss.

*cough cough* Grr. Gonna play with new toys now.
*runs off giggling*

Tired tired tired....and getting the flu. Usually not a good sign when you're having an exceptionally busy week.
*cough*
I think I started sneezing Sunday. Ah well.

Nice productive day generally. Printer has been gotten! WOO HOO! Thank you daddy :)
Spent more money on other things which should make life more productive. Egads.

Catching up on surfing, blogs etc :
Lol.
""After the first date, the woman should wait for the man to express further interest," he says. "If he is dying to go out with you again he will call.""
ENT. Ugh.

Hahaha this is funny.
"Chit chat, chit chat: women wallow in words, indulge in conversations. We need comfort talk the way men love comfort food. In a woman's eyes, communication serves as a trading floor for reassurance, homespun wisdom, warning and inspiration. This is an emotional exchange where you invest in, and profit from, one another."

"Conversations, for him, must have consequences, chatter must channel energy into some form of resolution. Mere listening is for wimps; real men hear a call to arms - or at least to action. No wonder they avoid communication as assiduously as they do a divorcee on the rebound: it's so damn exhausting."

Indeedy. So very so very.

Ugh I am coughing.
Exhausted. So very.
Good luck SMI.
Ay Penguin Chick. Lol.

*wave @ T (bitch#10) n D*
Thanks again for lunch today D. :) *muah*

Sleepy...took 1 Comtrex...will not have as good effect as 2 - but no not have 2. Damn. Would like tosleep in tomorrow. Prob won't...but who knows. Hope don't get worse.
Miserable.

Ergh @ time. Ergh^10.
I am done looking through a lot of stuff, and I know this stuff already, but I'm thinking way too much. Need to get so many things in order. Now. I think I'll take tomorrow to tie up loose ends perhaps. Hmm. Ergh ergh.
Calm self..get in zone. Woo.

Ok well that wasn't so bad...I can probably get some rest now...hah. I was supposed to fix up this client thingy...did not. Am bad. Urgh.

Ok ok did it did it! I need sleep so badly.
There's this job thingy to check out, thanks to Nigel. Gracias.
I need my printer. I am idiot for not getting it sooner.

Lordeelord. I am under serious pressure here. Have to learn everything possible about desktop publishing in about...well now. I need to stay awake.

Yes Ravi it was me looking through your books. I was in several if not all the folders, except I ventured far away from Mathematics. But you knew that didn't you?
You think you know, but you don't really know. You didn't message me . *gasp* But not surprising.
That said I have some shiny new e-texts to go through.
Argghhhh. Catcher in the Rye I need. The one on the site is notes..notes! Argh!

V sleepy.

Eminem.
V. Interesting new album indeed. Holy shit this kid's got issues. So this is the first time I'm listening to like a full length album so forgive my initial delayed reaction ok.
Shame...or something.

Very very very sleepy. Smell like a big cigarette. Ugggh. Bartender in casino is goddddaaaammmmmmm. That little look. *grin* V Jumpable. Haven't seen one of those in a while. *sigh*
He's tall sweet...beautiful eyes... nice bod. Nice ass...
I shall be going to bed now.

*hah of triumph* design done. muhaha!
I should be trying some other thing before class, but that would give me nothing to do in class. Hmm oh well.
Almost time to get ready and I'm killing time online.

"What's this thing about tall men?"
The whole high heels thing, me being taller than guy does not work at all. Am not compromising and wearing flat shoes all the time for him.

Oh God Jus!!! "...if they dance like that, they fuck like that." Argghhh! Not true...I think. Hope not.

Another point to add to list. Must be able to dance. Ricky Martin style does not count!!!!

Grr grr. Am up.
No good. Still have work to finish. Bah. Not working not working! Aggghh! Brain all icky and non-designy tonight.

So I forgot a few things for my list. Keep in mind these are dream qualities... *sigh*

In 3 inch heels must not be anywhere near his shoulder. (How on earth could I have forgotten this? Must have thought it obvious) ( I am about 5'3")
Conclusion. Tall.
Must not be idiot.
Must be honest but not brutally so (hey I can refrain too).
Must not be accident prone.
Must have all senses intact - vision, hearing, touch, - the usual.
Must be mobile.
Must not be technology challenged.
Money is always good.
Must not be lame.
Must look good in black turtlenecks, 3/4's, speedos (v. rare), hats of all kinds, sandals
Facial hair blahhh. Ick. Sideburns - no!!!
Must always be at whim
Must be always going somewhere new, trying new things. Hate bores.

Ok I done...for now.

O god. Must you people have to remind me how lame my life is at every hour of the day? Everyone is out, or going out. Grrrr. I may as well go to the fucking casino tomorrow night to turn into big bag of salt with...family. Uggggghhhh the horror. There are never cute guys there...and picking up or attempting lamely with mother/aunt and her whole band around is not good. Not good at all. Should pull in friends... But still. Yuck. Grand Bazaar is not my cup of tea.

No one is calling (well I'm online - but I doubt it very much), no one is e-mailing (not even forwards), no one is taking me out. Loneliness and boredom. Going to be found dead eaten by stuffed dogs. Will turn into old hag without ... anything. Argh I hate you.
I don't want to lime with ex's loser friend who is only interested in friend and who wouldn't mind fucking me. I don't like him at all. Big setup. Moronic clown.

Oh quite the nerve of some folks. One in particular. *glares* I cannot be describing you, for this man does not exist on planet. Puhlease. Some may hold more attributes than others. Do not dare be so full of self to be so blatantly bastardish. Dammit. I say.
One reaction down about 10 + to go.
Bahaha.

*awaits reactions*

I don't think this will do. Have not had Bridget fix for the day. Ughhh. However, this huge black coffee mug (have always wanted one) filled (halfway because it's so big) with a lovely refreshing warm cuddly spiced cider drink (koolaid in other words). Yum. One can get addicted. I love this cup. This is a nice site for the occasion.

I think I should start drinking tea or something. Better than coffee? More caffeine. Hehe. No but really. Tsk. I should I should. My tastebuds need refining.
My cousin the chef works in a hotel, and has tasted just about any and everything. Lucky bastard. His tastebuds are so acute though. Lordee. He's moved from cooked meat to...mostly raw. Gah. I'm sorry...I like meat well done. Yuck @ blood. Real taste my foot. I care not. Brr. Sushi now. Someone will have to convince me that this is tasting good. Somehow. I obviously need to get out a lot more. Someone?

I swear sometimes, the hotties get online, and quickly disconnect when they see that I'm on. Run run. Away from me. Bastards. It's a big conspiracy I believe. I exude some kind of reverse pheromone thingy which just makes them fly like the wind (Gandalf style). Mann.

I think I need some serious Led Zeppelin. It's Mikey Ross' fault as per usual.

That brings me to list (have I done this yet?) man of dreams. Now I have to be careful here because God has a sense of humour, so must get detailed. This is gonna be a long one. I knwo Stac did this a while back and I said I wouldn't...not sure if I thought it would be impossible, or too long or something. I'm just way too idle right now.
So here goes.
Look:
Good looking *must not be prettier or look way better than me.must not feel insecure
Eyes *honest sincere non-shifty, colour consistent, not screwy/kokee, pretty is bonus
Nose *cute not piggy
Lips *kissable not to thick not too thin
Smile *helps a whole lot. the sexier/naughtier the better.
Cheekbones *nice ones
Teeth * v.important. not ugly.
Chin *not too big.Saw this dude on Tough Enough with giant chin. Not nice.
Jawline *cut not soft
Body *slim not sticklike, toned buffed justright
Chest *ugh@hair
Abs *lovely Marcus Schenkenberg type
Hm. Marcus S body actually. That will do.
Toes *decent nuff not too picky but grooming v. important
Hands *sexy!
Nails *well groomed no nail biting
Hair *playable
Body hair *less the better. no forest. please. Ass hair = no no. Gah.
Body type - sexy.
Pants must hang perfectly. Must not look lame in pants. Must look like man.
Walk like man - not fassy, not girl, not ghetto boy. Bounce=bad.
Classy - in every possible way.
Dresses well - not necessarily brands, but a man with impeccable taste gets more points.
Touch of naughty must spice up the mix. Boring=bad...very very bad.
Experienced but not too experienced. Hm but that's...a whole other page. Satisfaction must be guaranteed. Let's just say that.
Personality :
Outgoing yet shy
Naughty and nice
Sweet not too mushy
Caring not stifling
Exciting not dangerously outrageous
Shy in a way not dead to world
Will not stick on like glue
Cool not on drugs
Non-smoker
Non-druguser
Alcohol - occasional...with taste.
Cologne of utmost importance - brand names apply - rare good ones give extra 10 points. Should not drown in the scent. Even if does not wear cologe, must smell good via soap. shower gel, deodorant.
Must deodorise
Must be clean
Must not be religion fanatic else will thwack with bible
Must not talk too much - just right amount.
Sexy voice necessary
Brain :
unfried - all cells intact (as many as possible - see smoking + drugs)
unique (not psycho)
beautiful (straight)
appreciative of the arts - utmost
good taste in...everything. comme moi.
interior decorating sense (this exists without one being gay)
style
flair
aura of sexy
kind generous loving huggy (gah am getn mushy)
can talk for hours and be quiet without feeling weird
shares at least some of my interests and can share new stuff together
plus a whole lot more.

I could go on, but I need sleep. *giggle* The guys will barf at this list. It's the dream one dammit give me a break. Most of the criteria on my list can be found in a few people actually, who I know, really exist, minus a few things of course, but am willing to forgive that. Purely jumpable I say. Purely. Just for that I suppose... hmm anyway. Another story.

So I want too much? Frig you. You want that too. Don't deny it. Any of you. You want those soecifics too - if you could choose you'd sooo choose em. Right that said, am going to bed.

Am bitch. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Mega-bitch even, as so so...not called, but inferred by Marc. Bahaha.

Just thought I'd mention that, while I melt in stifling heat with warm air being blown upon me, feeling like oven in here. TV is a possibility, but I wanna do work too. Offline for me I guess. *sniff*

Am going to be great freelancer goddammit. Am going to make moolah soon dammit.

I honestly hate this early morning arising. I have been going to sleep later of course, but dammit give me a break already, I'm young, I'm vibrant. I need to stay up late! Right, well I'm just a vampire really, so getting back into this late night work groove is hard when you have to arise early to get to the gym. Fun. I could have slept in a little longer be it not for my mother insisting I take a phone call - which turned out to be nothing of grand importance. Wonderful.

Something to keep me peppy is my Blueberry Morning cereal. Blueberrriiiesss. Wheeeeee! They're so yummmy and so prettyyy.

I think I'm in love

Graphic design has me high. Way too high for words. I have about 6 different windows open with sites about design. Ok so I'm just getting into it and I'm really not doing as well as I should. I have my new portfolio to put up and I keep tinkerng with all the pieces, to perfect them, and they're just too...simple..and lame. Yuck. Getting v. frustrated. It's below standard!!! How will I ever get recognition now? Doomed doomed doomed. I still like it though. This whole advertising type thing. Hmmmm. Have I found my career? Web design has taken a back (way way back) burner. I'm cheating on it. Tsk @ me. But GD is so much nicer to me than WD. Darn. They're both so...magnetic, but I may choose whichever gets me highest...and the most money. Me? Bastard? Never.

Something to that effect.

Finished BJD this evening and started, Bridget Jones The Edge of Reason. Going very well. Need sleep.

LABUGD - (lol@that) - Cuervo? body shot?

J'esp�re qu'il est satisfi� maintenant. Eh...voila.. French shot to hell.

*big big grin @ Stef* Congrats? Lol. I am awaiting a blog post about that - but don't expect one from me about such matters...

It's very interesting to spy on other local people's blogs, who you may know, or you may know certain people in the group...and stuff? I look for people I know actually. That's sick. Hmm. I'm such an odd one. I look at these folks having a jolly good time and miss that so very much. Oh the day to go chilling with friends again in some different place, with a different aura altogether. Am sick of home.
These people are too young and gay. I prefer my group. Need more hot boys though. *sniff* But then...no I guess that would be bad. Hmmph.

Ok couldn't help this one. Sorry.




Take the Which Cartoon Character on Drugs are you? quiz, by ProtocolDroid.

Hah. Am very bubbly. Too bubbly. For no real reason. There isn't much to be bubbly about of course. No I did not get laid. I'm not THAT bubbly for godsakes.
I am remembering things I have to do now, which I haven't. Kinda wasted today feeling sleepy - and sleeping.
Got awoken early to hit the gym, even had breakfast, but dad was leaving, and I didn't want them to have to wait for me, so I said run along, then I hit the sack again till about 10. :) I didn't reach till about 1 pm. Least I went and burned nasty calories. *sigh*

To do:
Much work.
Learn gazillion proggies.
Get printer info in order to get printer.
Do work - lots of it.
Get sleep.
Eat better. Grr..that Brazilian white chocolate with dried strawberries and cranberries... *frown*
Continue gym stuff like crazy - must get more fit-thin. *grunt*
Balance all of above with finishing Bridget J.

Quote from someone which was kinda... I dunno. "Piece of advice, keep going to the gym and when you have a hard body you'll have to beat them off with a stick"
Despite me being shallower now and such, I am sorta miffed by that, considering there are people who like me for I am, and even how I look. To be drawn into that whole "perfect" societal acceptable body type - not accepting yourself for how you are thing is sucky. On the other hand, it'd be fun to expend emotional fuckwittage on certain low human beings who deserve not the title. I'm not saying that gym is bad and or getting fit. It's about time for me. But gee. Also - I hate vain gym people.
Am v. torn.

Why don't people enjoy each other's company just because they like them and don't want to gain anything by hanging with them? I am annoyed about that. I do it too of course, but still... I could have been getting a tan today, but this guy who was going to carry us seems to be ducking out of it because the others can't go and I won't fuck him (because oh gross), and therefore has nothing to gain. Moron. Even if he's going I won't anymore. I don't think I need that shit.

Right, that said I euuh...well...I wasn't even going to say anything about that, just got distracted for a moment.

To the people who matter - in no particular order.

Arts is a definite sweetheart - I had forgotten how beautiful a person he could be. ;) *waves*

LAB - Hello. Tsk.

Evil One. Ahh. I wonder if he even is checking. Whgote.

Steph. Hehehe. I have not forgotten you.

Jus - *poke* Damn you judgemental priss.

Stac Dars Stace - need girl talk, the usual man bashing etc. Love you all. Must lime soon. Today seems a floozy so not even bothering to go. Big setup. Shall stay home and do what I must that shall benefit moi. I shall miss opport for tan though.

Stef - *grin*

Richard J - get sleep man. I know you love the teddy bear.

Who reads this blog again?

Russell - where art thou?

Lemme not go on...too long.

I see some semblance of guts now in me (v. v. g). Hah. Am such big wuss is not funny. Bridget style.
Don't mind me while I journalise funnily. It's only a phase I swear.
*cross fingers behind back*

Ok I suppose I could have said more to tell of good mood, but I'm actually attempting/doing work. *gasp*
I am in good mood because I got over one fear. Some of you know some may not. Right. Nuff said.

Guten nacht.

Like Bridget.
Am wondering why I seem to turn off every cool guy on the planet - even some ugly ones.
The remainders, whom I am magically magnetized to, are vile - yet so very honest, so maybe that's why I like 'em.

I got a couple pics that my cousin took while he was here. Gah @ me. They're not as bad as the Animation photoshoot ones though (looked absolutely hideous). My face is just round ... grr. Damn. It. All.

94.01% nerd. No way Jose. Tsk.
Haven't smelt the gym yet. Will do so after lunch. :)

Holy...oh damn.I haven't seen good Flash stuff like this for a while. Rather beautiful indeed.
Damn I'm reaalllly reallly tired so I don't think I'll be able to blog very much right now.
I'm gonna take a shower, and curl up in bed with the new bible (Bridget Jones) (lol@certain someone who thinks smthng else is bible) until I fall asleep. It's absolutely fantastique! Haha Stac I love you!

I played Rival School with my cousins today. One has just gone back to Tobago. I'm hoping to go visit him sometime so yay. Vacation for me (once I have some $).
Back to console gaming.
I am such a dweeb at console fps's. I just can't deal with it - maybe after a few hours I could get it, but somehow my co-ordination is way off. The fighting games are better for me. Button button hit hit. Lucky shots. *giggle* I need me a console at home I think. PlayStation. Mm?

So sleepy.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK @ time.

Dammitone gdamn e-mail. Eek. Sleep, wanted.

Saw Stac yesterday finally!!!!! Yay @ Bridget Jones too. Heheh.

I'm not a bad person. I'm just honest. Brutally? Hahaha.

Maybe it was the devil poking me or something. I told him that he was seen with "v. fail Chaguanas lookin girl". Awwww popo was offended and got flustered like a little rabbit. How dumb. Ok well maybe I shoulda kept that one to myself but I couldn't help it. *sigh*

Bad girls go to hell ay? *stifled laughter* That would be me rebelling. If I didn't have wrong done to me i wouldn't bother you know, I just think having people suffer for their shit works. I didn't kill anyone so there. Am still in Jesus' goodbooks. (Right) He'll pay ... he so will. Tsk...some people don't know who their fucking with.

Ok ok I know, forget him. Dammit I know. Well this is probably it. There was that whole goodbye forever thing. lol. Uhm. Yeh. I don't think I'll die. *rolls eyes*
Excuse me while I'm bored - and don't fuck with me and my emotions. People should know better than that.

So in my acrimonious bliss I also told random dude who wanted my number (online guy) no, and that we're at different levels and it won't work, plus he has no car and no ambition. Shoot me!

So while I'm on this whole honesty thing, I'm thinking about telling certain people what I really think of them. That could screw things up really bad. Hahaha. Take the risk? Maybe I'll wait till I'm in a more chickeny sorta mood(as per usual) to just hold back on everything.

Trace gettin on stink and has obviously fucking lost it - several times over. She scares herself.

Oh yeh Stac has the right idea. Only some time ago I was scopng Quddus and he's rather sexay indeed...save for his teeth... but that's nothing a little dental work can't fix. His hands are gorgeous.

So I was bored this evening after class. It was a pretty good day mind you.

Mother.. oh...oh ..oh.. Marcus Schenkenberg is the hottest of them all. So I'm on a roll. I have other stuff to do yes, but it's Saturday and I am kinda s tuck at home (what's new?) wastign my life away. Mom just left to go to a party for godsakes. Hahaha.

you spend too much time focusing on what you don't have and not enough on what you do have

That point being true, I accept it. Indeed. And I now understand why I'm so fucking messed up. I guess I need to take a break and just shed this old skin... or something. I'm not sure what colour it's gonna be though.

Said Justin : fuck you outlook and hotmail, fuck you repeatedly with mammoth sized objects riddled with shards of glass, nails, tacks, and cacti. you fucking bastards.
Now that is a keeper.

The artist is the child in the fable; every oneof whose tears was a pearl." ~ Heinrich Heine That's beautiful indeed.

So I pulled muscle (it's tight or something) in my shoulder at the gym this morning, so that cut my workout short a good bit. I'm sorta peeved yet relieved about it. I have to rest my arm. Ugh. It's my right arm too. At least I can type still. The pain has eased up now though...well relatively.

Know what? I'm hungarryyy.

*mumbles something about having nothing to say*

I'm in a strange strane neutrallish mood. I'm listening to bluesy little songs.
It's almost 2...sheesh.
I've come upon cool digital video stock. *sigh* Just another distraction. I'm supposed to be learning After Effects...this is what I'm doing.

Productive day yesterday? Quarterway.
I smashed a logo together in about 5 minutes so I am very doubtful that it will have any impact whatsoever. Sheesh.
Least I got a few things done.
What else.
Sleeeeepppppp I want.
Sorry for the fans of my blog. I'll blog some more some time later on.

Trace is a tired girl

Am sleepy.
The time. Evil evil time. Evillllll. Bastard.

Lol @ this.
Thanks Marc.

Today I say. Nothing. Much. I should re-email Stac. I'm not feeling to anything of great importance though.

Thank you Stef. You don't know how much you cheered me up.

Ok so that should have been more of the tone : Damn him. I was disappointed and worried. I am kinda down because of such. Kinda angry that someone didn't have the decency to inform me of what was going on.

For I am calm and have gathered my composure. (Yet inside is boiling).

TTEC is reallly pissing me off. Every few minutes tonight it's cutting off. I really hope it doesn't go again for the night.

Oh yes..definitely. Hatred has surfaced.

Oh I couldn't get to a phone. Oh I was taking care of my drunk girlfriend. What the fuck. At least let me fucking know. There are phones a-fucking-vailable.
After I decide. Hmm it's late. I wonder if something has really happened and start worrying you know because I'm so nice like that. Well fuck you too. Stupid bitch.
Asshole drunk fool. I hate people who get drunk and can't control it. Don't interrupt my train of ...stuff man. That fucks with my aura. I don't like when my aura is fucked.

The bitch loses all respect now. Unless he's dead or something.

Where is everyone?

Hah.
4:29 still home still not seen boy. There was no movie! Wtf! Woops, just checked the calendar...it's tomorrow. Great. Darnit.
Bored sleepy. half-doing my work. Joy.

Ok that was delerium speaking this morning.

I have been awake (how I know not) and been to the gym, and I've gotten thinking time.
Right.
I don't want to move from my house today.
I have a movie to watch @ 2:30 - if I have to miss that for him I will certainly curse the heavens...and or reschedule. Yes the movie is more important. I'm thinking right now that my animation satisfaction is far more beneficial to me (gawking, laughing), than the "ex-meeting" (talking, being depressed/happy/annoyed/violent). Not that I don't care, but I don't see how this will enhance my life in any way. I think I told him that. Least I'll get my pictures back. One down one to go.
Yay.

As for my friends who have warned me not to have anything to do with him. All I can say is that you're not in my shoes, you don't know the real deal... and you may not understand. It's just how it is. If he makes me cry, well I think it's all part of this deal in my life. I'm just emotional so I cry anyways. Whatever. At least I'm not some sissy girl who at the first sign of affection and probable psuedo-declaration of loovvve, falls on her knees and begs and fights for any stupid man. Who can be worth that much? I tend to just...hope that maybe it's true and get angry that it's probably not...and so.
Tsk.

Either way this shouldn't have any effect on me and my blazingly cool social life. *wry smile*

�a y est!

I have phone calls to make. Adieu.

I got off the phone just a few minutes before 2 am. Almost 2 hours. Talking with whom?
Oh no it wasn't me who called anyone.
Pushing the envelope. mm. I shall comment on this later.

Sleep is necessary before I explode. This long day ahead. Gods. I do NOT want to miss my movie @ 2:30. Goddammit. If I have to miss it I am going to die.

There's too much to say, to feel, to not feel at the moment. He's happily sleeping now.
Long long day it is going to be.

Why is it that the day people tell me, ok, here's what to do..blah blah, that something always comes up to just fuck that to hell?
I don't know what to feel. Ugh.

I finally saw Save The Last Dance. Not bad.

So I've been researching info on Algeria. Why? Just rather curious to know about where a new friend comes from. I don't know if I'll actually be visiting there anytime soon because honestly, they're really scary. This chinee not wearing a hijab... An Islamic society I cannot fit into - even for a second.
I mean the travel guides warn you to check to see if you should go or not. Especially now. HAH!
That isn't even half of it. There isn't anything to go see there. It's not exactly a tourist destination.
A chalet by the beach? I don't think I'm that desperate. No you're not allowed to comment on my desperation.
He's sexy ok. Dammit. French practice :) That's good right?

Oh boy as I read on....I notice I'm doomed. As I said, I can't survive a second. I wear sleeveless, shorts, bare head, bare face, adamant half-feminist, drinks occasionally, will not smoke...a hookah either, is monogamous, is heathen, will fling, and as for pure...lol.

*shakes head*

I have quite a few questions to ask because I really wonder how the young people are moving there. I mean they're supposed to be a tad more modern...there are universities and such. Hmm. You'd think they have a modern way of thinking... I don't know. All the sites I'm seeing have this rather strict kind of air. I guess you just have to be one of them. Hmm.
Scary. I'll report back when I interrogate him.

Trinidad really is a paradise. Je vous remercie Dieu!

Oh dear. Chris needs to see this.
For all you Carib drinkers out there.
Tsk.

Not that anyone cares enough anyway.

Why do you always make me cry?

Blah.

Nevermind that..it's slightly rainy...

I spent yesterday afternoon with my cousin who's visiting from Canada.
I am now more highly educated on Montr�al. Indeed.
Colin has his own radio station and web cam running from his house which is kinda cool too.

Anyways. I'm bored and need to get out of this house. The beach would be nice.

take the what amusing entity are you? quiz by kimburk

LOL

You are Spaceman Spiff!
Zounds! You are the intrepid Spaceman Spiff, the engaging explorer ensconsed in an unending universe of exotic and evil extraterrestrials! You're brave, but you should give that dictionary a rest.
Take the What Calvin are You? Quiz by contessina_2000@yahoo.com!

I couldn't help it.
Oh hell may as well do the other one I said I wouldn't do.


Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

You sad little girl Trace. Sad sad girl at home on a Friday night looking at reruns of The Joy Luck Club, The Professional and The X-Men movie.
Esp�ce d'idiot!

I am hungarreeee.

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.


So I'm just going through my last few posts, and realised what a very bad impression it must be to the first time viewer.

*Ducks again*

Another hot day. Damn. Melting melting.
Ohh blueberry bagels!

That whole thing with Le Pen and Chirac is rather disturbing by the way... I actually sat down watching CNN (gasp) earlier.

France. Hmm. Will I ever be able to go to live there one day without being scorned for being an outsider? Fat chance.
Hot Algerian dudes. Dear me.

I am abnormally depressed in the middle of a work cycle.

Great. Thank you Bloggerbitch for consuming my post. Where was I dammit? I don't even know. I am really really frustrated actually, so this just really is not helping in the least.

I will be a pig to whomever wants to be a pig to me. Thank you. It's one of those times when I'll say anything to anyone, so watch out world. Wanna be impolite to me when I'm trying my best to be peachy? Wellll fuck you too. I believe Stef went through the same thing. Of course the difference is that I have a bitch switch on - mostly. I like it that way thanks.

I am sick of the ex-thing that is going on. I am ready for someone to murder him and take his money. Really. I am afraid to any rash actions I may take against him, hence why I cannot even see him.

Marc : "You just as bad as them fellas"
Blah.

"I think I'm crazy
Can't make decisions
I could use some more distractions today"

"I don't feel the flame again
I don't want to have to pretend
That I'm still in love with you
See me
Free Me
Let me go"

Gah.

For the drunkies. Enjoy.

Hmm. A chocolate vodka...." The Russian Kiss". Righto.

Gorgeous Algerian med students. That's all I have to say. Tsk Trace. Tsk.
My French comes back to me faster than Spanish somehow, and having the err right encouragement just gives me that extra little push.

It's very very very goddamn hot.