Right, I knew I had to do something. The latest? Uhm. Oops distraction for me. It never ends does it. Have not been playing FFX. Been good and not addicted.
Nothing to say.
Oh right realise today that Rav is having blog. Werd. Interesting. Oh well. I'm completely and utterly uninformed of his life anymore. This sorta helps I suppose in a weird cold way. Kinda amazing how you can be close to someone and then...not be anymore.

Oh right. Am also still very confused about life. Work? Study? Both? Ack. Do not want to go to UWI. Aggghhh. Do want to do art, on other hand, Canada wants Computer Programmers. Fuck.

*puts on fake smile*

Nope. Still jaded. Sorry to disappoint you.

*flop*

Santana has one of the most beautiful souls I've ever experienced. I was checking out a Live By Request with him and it was really really awesome. To see him immersed in his music, to be living it, to hear him speak of it is amazing. Now where's mine? I still dig musicians hehe. Fou fou indeed. :)

Gods. Am switching from window to window not doing much in each. Grr.
*sulk*

Attempting to listen to good music to get happy. Not working really. It's one of those weeks. Maybe I should get some rest. Last night took my lit...err younger cousin to a lan party. Mmph. Fun? I may have usually been more cheery even though I appeared to be happy etc. I don't know - I just wasn't feeling it. Not that I feel anything when I go of course, but I'm generally disenchanted. Maybe it's because I'm poor. I hate it. I know it's not everything but hello needing life here.

Dear Lord. lol. The guys at rathergood.com on crack..but are mad cool. Haha. This is funny shit.
Dars made my night with the bug though.

Generally extremely jaded again. :( Not happy bunny. Not peachy cake. Sad day has come.

The other night I was watching Goldmember. Actually saw the end, and put on Monsters Inc. and fell asleep with that, woke up groggily and turned the comp off.
Have new music - Coldplay, Flamenco guitar, techno et al. Why am I rambling? Must be sleepy.

I am evil bitch supremis. Yess! Well no, but yes. I am SUCH bastard. Hah! I'll tell the story in a super secret blog, or very cryptically or something.
Owing a few people e-mails. Yikes. Stac you'll get soon, Nats...does not even check here. Uhm who else? I dunno just tired.

Scream imminent.

Peoples. Yo! (Why do I sound like Arts?)

*very bleary tired eyes*
Mmph. Was playing FFX - finally. Wheeeeee! I did mention that this game rocks right? Good. Mm.
Sleepytime.

Update on past couple days.
1. Am v v poor.
2. but have new jeans
3. have nowhere to go with new jeans
4. am poor
5. had interview with folks - not sure what's up yet.
6. poor
7. happy belated birthday post to stace. managed to call her in time though!
8. poor
9. sleepy as heck
10. Japanese posters KICK ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Went to exhibition yesterday -oh holy mother of all things prettylike. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! *sigh*

I am officially tired.

Yes am alive if you didn't know.
The weekend was nice and pleasant. Chilled ate and slept...a little. Hehe.
Things accomplished this weekend :
Have made new friends. Natasha and her fam rock! The whole lime was just groovy overall. Talk about laze around!
Have been driven through south to get to end of the country.
Have been in crime scene (well death scene really.
Have crossed red taped off area around crime scene.
Have limed around death filled place.
Have seen helicopter take off. Wheee. Wait..I saw that already. Oops.
Have been in car while driving through a flock of corbeaux (aka buzzards for you foreigners).
Have eaten way too much junk.
Have talked grand amounts of shit with the girls.
Did not win single pool game. Damn that evil boy.
Have not gotten tan.
Have seen no hotties. At all.

Stace. You give your version. I'm sleepy. There were a few other things probably but oh well.

Oooh started watching Lain today. One DVD down 3 to go. Interestig so far indeed.
Have Triple X and Goldfinger to watch. Hmm. I wonder. Which one to watch first?
Have not touched FFX for a while. Argh.

Ok. You guys think this blog template reflects me? My argument is that I have a soft, romantic girly side, but the counter is "not a watery bridge side". *throws hands up in air* Thanks goddammit. :P

Eh tonight is too much. Cannot handle this. Bleh. Feeling unworthy, not good enough for anyone. Erk. Not happy now. Shall go cheer self up with Rufus Wainwright or something. He doesn't talk back and say am not drop dead gorgeous etc. I mean I'm not but geezus you don't wanna hear that shit you know. The realisation of such for females is not pretty (oh god @ pun).

Hate boys.

Coool! Aadam has a blog! Yayyy now he and Stac can be all mush blogging each other. Awww. *tear*

Stac seems to be having fun now this is good. Liming in gay bars eh? *snicker* Dammit it's been a while since I've seen a nice man, straight OR gay. Saltywalty am I.
Vee has me cracking up with her post. Good laugh for the day.
Arts is not a fuzzy elf are you honey? Actually... elves are hot. Hmmmm. But furry? Erm. Moving.

Have had stinky horrible day. Head hurts, feet hurt, but for all of that have accomplished getting Lain DVD's from Vaughn, and uhmm a nice black pants. On sale! Yay!
Do you want to hear my adventure with the vagrant who was stalking me? It's horrid. Yuck. So I'm there walking along minding my own business. Vagrant walking up, with box of food unsteady in one hand. He bumps into me sorta and probably lost his balance I don't know, and his food drops. Well now it's all my fault. He comes trudging behind me asking me to buy him stuff. Followed me for a whole block. Shoulda sic'd the policemen on him but I don't know if they would have helped much - they were assholes who sent me walking up and down the fucking street looking for a taxi. I was pissed off, scared, melting, frying in hot sun and pooped.

Ugh! Now sleepy and hating boys again.
Am cute? Cute? Not drop dead gorgeous! Is v v annoying. Hating walking down street with v hot girl who EVERYONE is staring at. Must suck being her, but then she chooses to wear v sexy top with really nice boobs. Not fair. Yet having idiots look at you is outrageously gross. Hate that too. Blah. Mood!
Die me. :(

Am loser who no one really remembers! Argh! Cute taxi guy picked me up, forgot me...completely. He took me for Vennie methinks. Haha. Found out more info from him though. Hah. Not that it matters one fuck. Haha. Me idiot. Is not cute anymore then. Is ugly. Dammit. *pouts*
Oh this life.
The sun is HOT these days. Hot hot hot. Nasty kinda hot, but beach hot. Would like to go. Hmm. Stupid short sentences. Feeling like ... dead.
*poof*

Hate going into town, but, must go today.

Happy Birthday Jedi!
Happy belated Birthday Michy!

Happy Birthday Dars and Arts!!!! Yayy!!! Dars I miss so very much. She's all away and happy and liming and studying not taking us on anymore but she remains withus in spirit on blogs (hah rare) and such. I know you long years my friend. We getting old, but you goin downhill before me! I will meet you in a couple months hehehehe.

Arthur is missed as well, not that... I mean. Is always missed. Think I've said this before but is one of the coolest people on planet. Stay groovy grump boy.
I love you both! *muah* Happy Birthdays! Damn Libra bastards. Hehehehe.

Okay enough mush.

Sleep time? Have another long day ahead. Yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought and I camehome and slept and wokeup with a headache. Weird. Have much more to say, but another time ok.

Am going to sleep now. Having many things to do today. Eeek!

ahahahhahaa oh gawd v! weird. do yours!

Spent the day at the beach - the water beautiful! This is the time of the year for beach. Many many trips to beach required. Water loverlyyy! Wheee! *sploosh*

Have acquired new reader (maybe?) - at least a new viewer. It's amazing that most people I know still don't know I even have a site - perhaps it's better that way though. It's funny to see some freaks be showing off their sites in certain unnamed places and they're these weakass things. *snicker* Tsk. Long live good design.

Sleepy. I wonder if I should take a bathe now. It's kinda...late. Not that I have to but I want to. :( Also sleepy. Ok sleep wins buhbye!

Hate big bosses in FFX. Ugly mofobitches. Bastards! Gawd. I must be stupid or something not being able to defeat big uglyarse thing. Ugh. That serves me right for missing stuff before. *cry* I think it's been almost 14 hours playing that goddamn game. Good grief.

*falls fast asleep*

Fuck... cannot believe closed window. Ugh! Not retyping lame post I had written.
Sleepy.

Think Old Navy painter pants ad has cute guys though oddly gay looking...poor dudes. Hope they got lots of money for singing and acting like complete morons. Just thought I'd mention that. Those boys make those pants look REALLY good. Goddamn. Woo! That turtleneck works for the singer/talker boy. That is not singing...at all. Hmm.

*looks at mounds of salt all around*

*swats blog for not publishing properly*

Hehehehe. Some action to mah blog eh! Check it. He replied! Stephen! Ooops wait not supposed to direct anything at him. So wtf?
Here's the rebuttal (like I wasn't expecting it).

"1. I read your blogs occasionally to see if any part of you have changed; If there is any hope for you. Would you rather I posted this particular post on the forum itself? I posted period, since you left me no choice...You still refuse to comply to my wishes (see 8 for more details).

2. Ignore? Why havent you deleted me as I had done with your contacts so long ago? How ironic, since I am the one who keeps insisting I wish not to speak to YOU and NOT the other way around; This speaks for itself. As for initiating, I don't initiate, I merely beg you to comply to my wishes time and time again since you refuse to.

3. I don't know why I even bother...

4. Actually thats what you think of everything I say isn't it? Never takes me seriously...It was always like this wasn't it?

5,6,7. No I will not. I would be no better than you if I did. I'd rather you think my threats are empty rather than do something I'd regret...and I would regret, no matter how much I hate you.

8. Maybe this is real problem? You do not seem to be able to tell the difference between directed or not. IF YOU *COMMENT ABOUT ME* THEN IT IS *DIRECTED* AT ME. Anyone else thinks my logic is flawed? As for the rest of your reply, who can really blame me for taking everything you say as being sarcastic / meant to provoke me, given your past posts/history...

PS. I couldn't care less about "attention" as you mean it. In fact I asked sephi to remove her post after I found out about it. Whatever comments I make directed at you is due to my constant attempt to get you to stop *commenting ON ME* PERIOD."

Here we go again with my solemn odd look of confusion. *_* This is worse than me when I'm ranting. Gawd. OK where to start?

1. Change? Hope? Why? If you hated me so much you'd have ignored me a long time ago and completely cut me off and stop looking at blogs or caring about whether I've changed or not? Uhm. Wha? You have many a choice. You could have ignored it, thought of it as a nice gesture, not even looked at it, talked to me about what the hell is really eating you, and the list goes on. There's always a choice. Confrontation would be nice. Stop chickening out.

2. I only delete people I really don't like. I don't hate you. I'm just wondering what your stories are. As usual. I give people many benefits of doubt. Tsk.

3. I don't know either. You're trying too hard not to try at all.

4. You give me no reason to take you seriously. Yuh on games. Stop. I don't take much seriously. You supposed to know that.

5. Yeh well I know you really don't hate me all THAT much... right? *grin of little hope*

6. If something is directed at you it means I say "You Stephen... blah blah". Like this post is directed at you and I don't care. I can direct stuff at you all I want. You call it "provoking" I call it my blog ie speaking my mind in whatever way I so desire. If you don't want to see stop looking.

Look I deleted you from my lists! Actually you don't even know if I did or not. Hey I could be lying. Maybe not! Opps am provoking. Bad me. V v bad. *slaps self*
"Given my history". Hahaha that one put a dent in my ego. Woooooo. Big bad Trace huh? Aww. It's kinda funny when people see my other side. Nice nice. Am bastard ay? Wheee! *dances in big pot of bastardjuice* Does anyone want to really see my bad side? No didn't think so.
Steph sorry I can't show you my bad side - unless you actually do manage to piss me off. For now I will continue to take this lightly because I have no capacity in my life for stress and this is minor. But you knew that.

Orrite. I like people commenting but geezus christ. Hah @ me.

Stephen just posted on comment (lol well I get what I wanted! Lord help!) :
"tends to be helpful indeed"...my ass. Why do you insist on commenting at all? Is it so hard to accept I HATE YOU? That I wish NEVER to speak to you ever again? Can you even be honest with yourself anymore? Keep living in that dream world of yours, and leave mines the hell alone.

You thought my threats were physical then, but I had something much better than that planned; Attacking your mind. Continue to provoke me to if you want to see.


Now hear this eh.
WTF?

1. First of all S, dude, if you hate me, why do you keep reading my blogs and or visiting my page and or having time to post comments like that on my blog?
2. I replied to a forum post being very polite and nice. Wuz yuh scene dred?
3. You made it clear that you don't want to speak to me. I don't speak to you. The post was not directed at you. I ignore you on my contacts list - not delete - I just don't talk to you because you said you want no contact. No hay problema. Is you who continues to initiate contact or some semblance of such.
4. You keep accusing me of this self denial thing. Mmm. Interesting but am lost utterly. Care to remind me? Oh no but then that means me speaking to you or something. Scratch that.
5. I think your threats are full of shit.
6. What yuh have planned? Bring it to fuck on.
7. Attack my mind. Go ahead it's open day on my mind to be fucked over generally.
8. Provoke you? EH? Nothing was directed at you except this post. Yuh just crossed the line. I wasn't saying anything before. Yuh want attention? Here you go.

Werd up man. Despite my complete confusion as to what feeling I should have right about now, I am somewhat amused. Or something.

Hey! I am not using the walk through okay! I'm not spoiling the story! I'm using it to see what I missed...considering have PS 2 for limited time and will probably only get to play it once. :( That's ok though. But am not cheating!!! Damn you. Hehehe still need to get Lain DVDs from Vaughn. Have spent horrific amount of time adding DVDs to wishlist, and not having DVD player is bad. Can't help self. Will get DVD rom some day I swear.

Ottmar Liebert plays a beautiful guitar in the background while I do nothing. At all. Gawd.

Life on neutral roll. How annoying. Bleh. Sleepyish. Did nada en absoluto today.

Muahahahaha. Have acquired activation to telefono. Whoever want el numero lemme know. *snicker* Yayyy! Thanks to Sean who is saviour and who buff me for not going to TSTT long time... oops. Oh dear am addicted to ring tones and FFX. Yikes! *closes all windows dealing with rings*

FFX is no doubt beautiful. Gorgeous gorgeous game and really cool too. I was lost but now am found. Oh praise be the chea...err walk throughs! Spent about 5 hours playing today? Shameful huh? Hehehe. But it's prettttyyyyy!!!! Fun too!

Heyyy no one's commented for a whole 2 posts! Blasphemy I say! Ok so I need some attention. *yawn*

Am v idle apparently. Look - go learn how to swear in different languages....now only if you can pronounce it properly!

*sigh*

No stop looking at me like that. I am overgrown potato residing on floor (not couch) it's true, but...still cute! All day. TV. God am lazy bastard. *sigh* FFX is evil... LOTR is hot. Aragorn and Legolas are hot goddamn it.

Happy Birthday Chey!

I just wanted to say that my printer kicks the llama's ass!!! Woo hooo! I need to make money to buy ink now. Anyone want prints of mah work? Lemme know! 8.5 X 11" prints on sale now! Anything...really! I'm serious too. Really should finish site now. Really really should. *runs*

Yay work is done. Finally! Can stay home with borrowed PS 2 (ty Chris - Stacey's bro). Have DVD's to watch, work to do, FFX to play, hate call to TSTT who has not activated phone yet to make, gym to go to (hahahhaa!), and other miscellaneous things in store tomorrow. HAH! Big frigging hah.

Still salting. Greatly. Dani had to rub it in horribly today "oh..you still salting" *wry grin* in response to my need to rip "101 romantic things to do for your bf/gf" list appearing via new guy. Ugh. Yes salt caking off skin. Least I'm not alone. *looks @ Dani* Hehehehe.

Gawd am sleepy. Have been sleeping in bad positions and needing someone to crack open neck and shoulders... why can't I affor dmy own personal sexy hunky masseuse yet? Ah yes that's what dreams are made of. *yawn* No one to talk to. All bepped or just as bored.

I attract freaks. Actually wait. Am not even attracting ANTS! Good grief. Want phone :( Want phone worky and then calls or texties or sumthin goddammit. Hate TSTT bastards. *sniff*

Look Scar see? Something to read. Humph.

*flops around*

Ugh. I feel so out of it. Lame really. :(

find your element
at mutedfaith.com.
<�>


*looks @ remaining money in wallet* *bursts out laughing*
Lord. I am poor now. Very very poor. Have to buy UPS asap so when get paid for last week will do. Monitor also fucking up. Hahaha. Oh help. Need permy job.

Yesterday went to Logos II - the book ship with Stace and got ONE ...fucking ONE book for myself and a good few for the kids in the family (yes Dr. Seuss rocks!). One fricking big ass book I had to tote all around town in blistering sun. Dirk saw me in Excellent Stores and said my face looked red...apparently got a slight tan? :p Shut up lab. Got new beautiful kurta tops. No jeans yet :(

Last night went to Trotters (omg we're RICH!) with Jus and the gang. It's not as bad as I thought actually. Pretty good pices and pretty good food. Am addicted to juice for the past 2 days. Throat feels hoarse...screaming too much, laughing too much. Oh my god...Stace you missed out, and Jus thought you hated him because you ducked out. But it's probably a good thing because we got in at oh...5 am. We ended up by Vaughn playing pool, poker and other miscellaneous evil games. I won at poker! Yayyy! Fake money. Pft. Let's not even speak about me losing at pool by scratches. How suck. Not my night indeed. The shit talk was wonderful though.

Sleepy as heck.

I quote "yuh is cyber cocaine". Now how's THAT for a compliment huh? It gets better or...something. *shakes head* Couldn't help that one q (no not you mq - anudda one...)

Yay thanks to Stacey's bro I'm getting a PS2 borrowed. Yay go Chris... course when Stace said "he'd be cool to lime with if he weren't my brother" .... that just was all wrong. Heheh. Now I'll be needing those games and Lain DVD's. Hmm. I wonder. Heheehehe.

I'm tired!!! Hehehehe I'm ducking work tomorrow. Muahahaha! Also pissed about lack of bloody cell phone reception here when we have one big fucking tower in the valley. You'd think we'd get perfect reception. Bastards! Yes I have my phone activated (tomorrow they say). *sigh* I have entered the realm of cellularised. Oooh warm fuzzy brain cancer...makes mah eyes water just thinking about it. Ok well..maybe that's from lack of sleep.

Thank you for all suggestions. Welcome new readers! Shogie baby! Cragey? Yuh dere?
Right so only Arts and Shogie saw this drawing I did today out of mere idleness. That's going to become the new design for the blog. You'll see in time... I have to actually figure out how the hell I'm going to do it. Brain on slight shutdown you know.

A reminder of the kickass secret diaries. Lol again. I'm still the prettiest!!!

I didn't sleep well last night and it's late. Don't know what or who *looks at certain people* has me up.

Nothing more to report today. Really. I'm sure there is but I'm just not in the mood.
Ottmar Liebert is cool. *sigh* Whatamidoing?

Wtf is up with Blogger? Lol I'm reading comments and totally cracking up. I wuv you guys. I must update my template with new links etc (no I haven't forgotten the new blogs) but with Blogger being an ass I think I'll hold that thought a bit. :( It's time for a change. I'm fed up with this layout. Any suggestions? What do you guys feel for? Huh? Huh?

Tired and feeing oddly nauseous not sure why :(
Sleepy too.

*poof*