Happy Birthday Mommy!!!

Hahaha if this is true why am I not getting any?

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Fuckers.

I should sleep and get up early and do my damn work. That's what I should do. Jay isn't around :( Must tell him am addicted to Badly Drawn Boy now. Oh my. I am so loving them. Downloaded a few songs and am once again in love.

Bored. Bleh where is everyone?

God knows why I looked at American Psycho 2 last night. Oh my God that was one of the more shitty shows I've ever seen. Que sorpresa...

Life's back to being rather unexciting. Joy. Let's all celebrate my boredom.

There's rain blowing through my window. Wow how cool. I love it!! Damn now I just want to go back and cuddle in bed. Makes no sense though. Obviously.
*sits and stares at pc* Hello pooter.

I hope Vee's baby gets better soon. Virus woes indeed. I miss her picshures.
Chris' piccies have improved however.
Blah you people and f-logs. I want one!

Fine!!! No more yays. Bastards. I am not yaying anymore anyways.
I just had the weirdest dream - just the last part stood out though. There were a whole bunch of cars pulling up by my house and I was in the gallery watching them come. My cousin who I see very rarely pulls up in this bright new shiny truck with "Custom Cousins Ltd." on it. First thought I had was damn I need to get in on that - I'm a cousin too. I know, I have the oddest thoughts when I'm half asleep. My subconscious is an odd little cookie. When I wake up I'm usually wondering what the fuck I was thinking.
There were also some strange architectural artsy things in there with water. Odd but very cool.
Listening to reggae while sleeping can possibly do that.
Anything good on tv tonight? I have to do work yes I know but just wondering. I need more movies.

Yay I burned off most of my mp3's! Whee! Of course I haven't finished what I wanted to start just yet. I have the weekend. Blah. Poopy I say.
Spoke to Jussy so yay. Yay! I just feel like saying yay for no apparent reason. I also need more sleep. I seriously need oxygen. Goddamn.

Jay's cool. Goddamn. Thank you for inspiration and encouragement to go on. Don't know where he's been all my damn life.

*yawn*

Uhm. Yay?

*flop*

Blogger. Post! Dammit!!! *waves magic water bottle*

D and I caught Studio Film Club's movies last night. Not bad. Not great either. The first was some animated thing called My Friend Totoro. Very cute indeed. Endearing and well D dug the big fluffy bunny thing. Scary. The second was a very cool Spanish flick called Hable Con Ella (Talk To Her). Wow the soundtrack was brilliant as well.

*snort* Chris! Behave! This boy is going to mean the death to all my stored up karma. At least he's back reading. Yay!

I'm still trying to get used to this new Blogger layout thingy.

I love Vee yay! She's drunk again I think. Hum.

Am just gawking at this new Blogger layout thingy. Interesting. Have to get used to it.

I must have started this entry a million times but I just can't seem to get the right thing to say - if there is a right thing. There isn't. I'm so lost and I don't know what's going on ith me. Again. I'm depressed for several reasons and PMS is not one of them. I'm switching between Photoshop (yes I actually got it open) and here. Winamp is shitty and I just don't know what to play anymore. I've been playing La India over and over and it's at least got me to the point that I can start blogging again. I was supposed to write about the past week because generally no one else will and the natives are getting restless. "Go blog bitch" are the cries of the needy. Yes I hear you indeed. I'd be begging for entertainment too if I was on the outside.

If I was on the outside, looking in, I'm not sure what I'd be thinking other than "freak". I'm restless and jaded once again. Inspiration is just nil and I'm plodding along seeking my purpose. It's there somewhere but not where I think it is. I think. Excuse me for being cryptic but I don't know what else to say. If you understand it kudos. Oh God this life of an artist.
Am I happy or too happy? Why do I need to be happy again? Why is joy and happiness the way? Why do we strive for such? Why can't we strive to be slothful idiotic sad little creatures? Alas these brains of ours - rather irritating at times if you ask me. What does make me happy anyway? Pretty colours? Cute bunnies? Nice shoes?

I suppose if I wrote what I was thinking most of the time I'd have no friends whatsoever.
I'm sleepy again. This can't be good at all. I'm sleeping way too much for my own good, wasting away in bed, dreaming, or not dreaming. Those cuddly sheets have me itching. When I lie down to sleep I get trouble falling asleep because I think everything is itching when it isn't. Or maybe those are old mosquito bites.

*pause for much needed nap to Radiohead*

I'm feeling a bit better than I did this morning when I was snapping at everyone. Whoever knows me would be used to that by now I think (hope). I needed the oxygen in my brain - I've been keeping myself cooped up too much. I refused to go out with my mom and aunt today because I didn't want to ruin anyone's day. Nice of me wasn't it?
I could possibly change many things soon including the blog. ;)
I may stop doing graphic design. I may stop doing web design. I don't quite know yet to tell you the truth. I'm at odds with myself once more. Great time to think about that
when I'm almost in art school. Very funny indeed. My purpose is unclear and perhaps I have to hide away for a while and find it. No wonder great things are usually done by hermits. Bah. I hate being alone though. That's my problem.

Anyways I guess I'll blog about the last week. Mmph. Fun.

Thursday :
Cinema with Stef and Stace, and her co-workers. Stace made it last minute and got permission to go to the beach with us. Yay! Saw Identity and Stef was scared shitless at least at one point. The poor sod was jumping all over the place and had his hands over his ears for most of the show. *snicker* I think I did that a couple times but at least I didn't jump out of my seat. Hehe.
The movie was pretty well done actually and well-enjoyed. Best $15 I've spent in a while. I really like Norton.
We got some pizza after and marvelled that we actually got it in 15 minutes as the waiter had promised. Not bad.
Steffo spent the night (on a comfortable bed this time). Course some humungous bug had to attack him. I was snorting at him - poor thing. They're just attracted to their
own kind dear really. I'll be skewered for that one no doubt - let's hope he doesn't read it. :)

Friday :
Headed down the road early enough to get to Stef's place. I am scarred for life from certain video clip he showed me. Oh my goodness - wouldn't I like to have that done to a few people. Oh dear 10 million karma points down for just that thought alone. Oh well. Nadi was dragged along and we set off to Frank's place.
Thank you good sweet Jesus for air condition.
Frank is in denial of his Penalisation poor thing. Amazingly enough the drive wasn't as long as I expected and we got to Los Iros in no time at all. On the way the phrase
that just popped out was Jhagroo sitting in the van glugging a Smirnoff Ice saying "Dey say yuh musn't fuckin drink and drive!" *glug* That's my boy I tell you. Again I must say I love a/c. The sun was bright and glaring by the time we got there which was around lunch time or a little after.
We got settled in a cute little apartment and wandered around chilling out...or attempting to. Yay fans. The beach daunted us because of both the sun and the questionable people who frolicked in the sand and murky looking water.
Clegs was self-appointed as the chef and we were told to get out of his kitchen. You know I have no problem with that. He actually cooks well for someone who magically turned fried rice into pelau some time ago.
The rest of the day consisted of lazing and settling in, fighting for beds, playing cards, drinking (I touched not a bit of alco for the whole time!) and talking copious amounts of shit. We hit the beach around 6 on order of the commander in chief. The water was rather refreshing and not as cold as one would have thought. Stayed in till after dark (pft only me Clegs and Krissy) so that was interesting.
Playing All 4's (which I've dramatically improved at) and chilling was pretty much it. Clegs has us listening to his bagpipe music. Parry was helping whoever he teamed with to win, and Stef and Stace slept - a lot.
Saturday :
I don't think I got much sleep. 2 hours max I estimate. I woke up and the chief was making breakfast and only Parry was up as well. At least I got an early morning swim before the natives awoke. Just me and Stef though - everyone else was either sleeping or chickened out.
Nadi Stace and I ended up chilling almost all morning on one of the beds just totally vegetating and being anti-social. *snicker* Clegs made lunch and the rest of his family came as well. After lunch we said nuh uh sleep time and headed for some shut-eye. Of course some people started making odd noises and did rather animalistic weird things. Tsk. I got bitten again too. Not as hard though else I would have hurt him.

We packed up and left by around 3:30 and left the others. I got home and proceeded to call Chris (another one) to see if he wanted to go to cinema still. Ended up dead tired but went to see 2 Fast 2 Furious still. No big lime though. I was tired.

Sunday :
Finally. Sleep. Sleep is good. Woke up to a nice little e-mail - tickled pink rather. Happened upon Order of the Phoenix by chance that night so I was rather peachy. Nothing otherwise exciting was happening but I did catch up with James. He was missed indeed.

Monday : Book! I did nothing but sit vegetate and read my Potter.

Tuesday : Book done! Woo hoo! Now things were supposed to be back to normal. I had to post mortem it with Emir. HP whore. Humph. I can't say much of anything now especially with those in mind who have not read it. It rocked though. I've started reading over the series again.

Yesterday : Well. Depressed really. Bleh. Better but still miffed.

Today : Hello. I'm supposed to be doing work. Catching my royal arse. :( I have to finish stuff for oh tomorrow and it looks like I'll be out tonight.

Oh God. This is too much brain stimulation. E-mails, pictures, blog, friends, movies, Harry Potter Order of the Phoenix - acckkk!! Overload!

I think I have to get out of Trillian. I cannot even start anything. I'll blog as soon as I get a chance. It'll be long. Don't give up hope. I'm alive and this is good. I think I should sleep now. Tonight was purely for catching up with J and gang who I missed a bit.

I met a few of the strangest people earlier. Good heavens. It's funny how so-called celebrities who seem nice are sometimes utter jackasses. Fun. Glad I am not affected by them.

Sleep time again!

I really meant to say hello to Arts - he's actually blogging. Well sort of. Dear - that is also the worst thing a guy (who you happen to bloody well adore) can tell a girl. Course, I just don't risk hearing shit like that. Emotional fuckwits suck. Have I said that already? Good. If you haven't heard it before now is your other chance.

Vee that quiz was hard!!!! I was guessing. Lol. Good thing I know your birthday. Whew. The bushwoman answer popped out - I knew it! Lol! Muahahhahaha!

Yes bitch I love you! Happy now? *snicker* Awwww look at the pretty vanilla blossom. You get a whole line dedicated to you. Glow in the warmth of my blog honey bunch sugar dumpling!
(The rest of you who think I'm crazy please ignore that line - it's only for 1 person. No. I am not in love you clowns.)

Okay so I'm bored! Shuddup!

My aren't you cool! You have no shame, or much to
hide! You share your brave self with the web
world! Your pretty fun to read! You blog baby
blog!


What kind of blogger am I?
brought to you by Quizilla

I may end up hurting Jhagroo/Gosine. Depending of course.

On another note, I don't know if punk is my style exactly. I mean some people may call me this but I've got style I think. I mean - oh come on. So I found some site selling punk and goth stuff. They're okay but I imagine Dom in them more than me. She'd look good in those outfits - okay she does look good in those outfits. Wonder how I would. Hum. Dye my hair purple? What you say?

*looks down*
Strange things are happening on this blog of late. I show someone my site today and he points out some links are por links, so I check and lo and behold in the guestbook there are tons of porn link signage. Good bloody hell. Must I go clean all that up now? Should I just leave it for pure amusement? Hum.
I get home and check the comments and see that a Mystery Guy has appeared. Great. If it's any of you I will hunt you down with a big rolling pin! Anyways I was nice ad wrote. Yes I enjoy the morbid curiousity of it all. For all I know it could be a friendly prisoner on the other side of the world. More friends for me? I think so.

Anyways I'm stuffed. Full to the brim. Dinner was fabulous (and expensive) but a good time was had by all. My aunt surprised mom and dad with a fancy cheesecake (Bailey's and Guinness). Whoa. Will have to walk 10 gajillion miles to burn that off. Bloody hell - and there's remainders. It was my first time at Jenny's and well it was alright. Went to the Cellar and enjoyed much loud music and cigarrette smoke. I am attempting to disguise it with leave-in conditioner - just for tonight. Cig hair and no pool? Tragic really.

Man observing people is fun. It has to be a Trini thing. Sitting and watching people dance or attempt to and snickering. The girl with no shape who had to keep pulling up her hipster pants, who could not dance at all, who had no rhythm - we scoffed. That is bad.

I knew I wasn't crazy. All you bitches who doubted me that there was a Smirnoff Ice (Black) are wrrroonnnnng! There's a Triple Black out. So HAH! *dance* Saw it advertised tonight on tv.

I hate Jhagroo. Pictures everywhere and this is not good at all. Fuckery I say. *cringes and curls into little ball* Ok I still love Jhags though despite his bastardity.
Forgot to say last week Friday that I heart labsterpoo.

Oh I got a tarot reading from James the other night - online! How cool is that? Of course it was interestingly odd. Some was cool - some of it was just strange, irrelevent, but still okay. I remember a few years back that another friend had done one for me and a few of the things were very relevent then. I'm not a great believer in this kind of thing but it's interesting. My horoscope is so wrong by the way. *snort* So so funny. I actually said "WHAT?" when I read it just now.

Altoids - Curiously Strong.

Been watching way too much tv. Really. I should sleep because this is becomng more and more incoherent babble.
Hum I miss him. Oh well. Doesn't make much sense does it?

Happy Birthday Emir!!!!! *huggs*
Happy 25th Anniversary parents! Apparently we have to go to dinner. Hum. I could have gone to cinema but...naw - free food c'mon.

Haha oh God why do exes (some) have to be such asswipes? Some people are just so bitter. Tsk.
I've been reading A Treasury of Beatrix Potter. Yes back to child hood thankyouverymuch. Too rainy yeterday - did not go to library. *sigh*
Ah yet another friend hooked up - am glad for him of course. Of course.

Bleh mood.

Sleep has been had. Maybe too much really. That's why I'm up looking for books, talking to a couple people and reading Ayn Rand's Anthem (Nietzsche is not good at 2 am). Right so I thought I'd blog something of worth. That isn't working of course. *snore*

*pout*
Come here. Move here. Now. :(

Ohhh look look! "C: true...your voice is verily pleasing"
Go me!
Okay nothing I haven't heard before. These days I'm getting that alot though. Yesterday about 3 times. Wow. Is my voice being sexy like all the time now? Woo. Self-esteem seeping back in...slightly.

Sleep is necessary.

Oh God. It's the 15th. I realised this so very late. Somehow by mere luck I realised the date. I deserve to be shot for being incoherent and lame. Happy Birthday Stac!!!! I love you mucho!

The meeting yesterday made me think. I was somewhat coherent and didn't fall asleep. I've been attending a series of creativity workshops. Very interesting and more in-depth than the one previously. It takes a new approach. It's slower and less "creative" just yet because it is teaching foundation type things. Inner power, principle consciousness and that sort of thing. Makes one want to dig deep into more philosophy and such. I need to start reading again. Most of it is nice and mind-boggling as far as I've seen, especially for one whose brain cogs have been rusted/dead for a while.

I suppose I should sleep a bit more. I should stop reading Nietzsche at 2 am. Hmm.

*raises eyebrow*
I am awake at 6:20. Fuckery I say. Alas it wasn't a hot sexy voice on the other end for a wake up call - only a reminder for the meeting which I diligently remembered dammit.

Oh God oh God. Am so horrible. I blame my stomach really. Did not go where I was intended to go so got stuck with the couples again. I had food and a Smirnoff Ice and well eventually my tummy said "nuh uh" and got rid of everything ingested previously. That was not cool at all. I haven't thrown up in years. I'm sitting here in Ria's study talking to Vee and Al and blogging and hearing the clock on the wall tick. God.I want to go home bathe/change and get some rest. I have another 9 am meeting, which I have work for, which I haven't done yet. I guess I won't be sleeping soon. Great. Just bloody great. I am sober now if you were wondering.
I think this is the last of alcohol for me ever. Back to water and juice tyvm.
Ughity ugh. I just feel horrid for storming and throwing up. Gawd.
I should blame one certain person *glare* but I don't think it's his fault. Yeh you owe me one!!! I have had a generally horrific night because of you punk. *sigh*
Off I got I hope we're leaving soon.

I'm just falling apart slowly or maybe I need to make next week go away. Am just so bloody miserable. Today is not a good day to be miserable though I should be cheerful shouldn't I? I really should because it's Friday the 13th. Usually a very good day for me. Heck it 's Friday it should be fabulous. I have work to do as well for tomorrow morning early. Oh what fun. Just not in the mood. I figure tonight will be good but there are other things on my mind ya know?

I just murdered the biggest fucking cockroach I have ever seen. If you hear that I have been beaten to a bloody pulp and killed by a giant sneaker you know why. Where the hell did that come from?! Wings...fangs..the works. I need to get my blood pressure and heart rate down from jumping around spraying the thing with insecticide and then running into my room (after which it followed). Phew.

Grr. Etc. Need company (or something of the sort tomorrow night and no one's around) This is not cool. En absoluto.

Oh this one's good. Really really good. I read my horoscope for entertainment and here's what it said. One of the lines is "This day will witness a constructive evolution of your love affairs." What? Hahahaha! *roll of eyes to back of head* Woo.
Ok I should go make some calls.

I meant to do this last night but got distracted as usual. *backspace*

So anyway yesterday turned out rather interesting. I had an interview in UWI Creative Arts for entry into the Visual Arts program. I had to wait for about 2 hours. Wonderful. Those people have started with the moronism from early. There were only 6 of us for the interviews I believe. Enter the victims. 2 guys seemingly friends - no not hot- and the rest were female. Artsy guy #1 seemed to be very good because I caught a glimpse of his work - well whoopee doo. Arsty guy #2 I'm not sure about but he brought in a bit of work too I think. 1 ditzy looking young girl - smart, pretty but impatient with her daddy - aww. Another young girl very bright possibly, pleasant, and an older lady maybe early 30's who looked less-than-amused. Joy. You'd think they would be grateful to have someone apply to the program. Tiff said the classes are very small. *snort* Wow. I suppose I'd be picky too no matter how small the class.

A panel of 5 people/artists/teachers were looking at my work, asking me questions and such. I had to lay out all my work on the floor while they came around talking and asking about certain pieces. All in all I felt generally incompetent un-arty. Nods, hmms, finger-on-chinning. I suppose I have come to terms that each artist is vastly different and would have different opinions on one thing. Overall a generally interesting experience. At one point they were flipping through my application form, realising how many passes I had. I was good I swear. I only let one comment slip about art analysis sucking - but in prettier words. At least one of the guys got what I was saying. That was somehow very reassuring. When I was leaving he said, with dazed cool artsy look - okay good luck bye! I smiled a cute little smiled and went my way and swore they were talking about me after but I was afraid to listen too hard.

I got home and talked to Tiffy about it and we have some good laughs. If I get in (God knows) I expect a veerrrrry interesting next few years.

Stace passed me this fake Harry Potter Order of the Phoenix book yesterday. I only just confirmed it was fake. Heck the writing's not very good either. *snicker* I need to re-read the first 4 books dammit. Rav ftp - where? Help. Someone. Anyone.

*sigh*
Does ANYONE want to go out with me tomorrow night? Fuckers. I'm gonna make a few calls.

My God have finally seen Mulholland Drive. Oh my word what a mind fuck. Whoa. I like it! Ugh tired.

It is amazing how people care when they feel like it.

Wow he was right I really didn't post since Saturday. Woops sorry dear. Time flies so quickly when you're dazed and not sleeping ya know?

My foot seems rather pale. Interesting. Random observations at after 2 am.

I caught The Royal Tenenbaums just now. Very interesting indeed. Hopefully tomorrow night will be able to stay up to watch Mulholland Drive. I have to sleep. I should sleep. Sleep is good right?

Was actually productive yesterday and attempted to do some work. My own work too. I think I should not go out in the morning and stay home and do my work. Have many a thing to do. I should get some cards printed as well, but alas I am poor as a pumpkin. Okay so that wasn't exactly a good simile, but hey it was a kkinda sorta alliteration right? Sounded groovy.

Have been distracted with people's fotologs and blogs. Good grief. Every other person I know and or don't know has either or or both. Now I want a fotolog. Alas I have not a digicam just yet but when I do watch out world! Chronicles goes to fotologland! I need me a new layout already. I know my archives are missing and so forth and no links to the gajillions of blogs/f-logs (snicker). Ay Vee new name for fotologs - flogs! *snort* Anyways I want one. Goshdarnit.

What else? I'm thirsty. Need water.
Sleepy. Eek. 3 am. Not cool.

Good luck with surgery old chap.

Victoria's Secret (am so sorry now that I sent Vee the site) is evil. Really. Ack.
Where is everyone? I think I may need to find a new crew. No one loves me. Vee kinda sorta does at least. Yay.

This morning I got about oh an hour's sleep then awoke at 7:30 to go to my 9 am meeting. Wonderful. Did not fall asleep. Meeting turned out rather interesting and I realise I'm not crazy, insane, difficult or different - I'm just creative. *snort* It is good I say! I shall never become old within! Muahahahahaha!

Oh great Scots my blog from this morning didn't publish. Bastards!!!

Treated myself (again) today to a gorgeous ring. Woo ha. All money gone. Not good. Still need autres supplies.

Watched Goldmember again. Good bloody hell that was a pack of shit but good shit mind you. Yay my cable's back whee! Wheeee!

Tired figure I should sleep. Rambling I know.

People are out having fun but that's okay. I like being home tonight considering am grumpy and tired and not really peachy.
Someone invite me to cinema/pool at some point? I need to see The Mystic Masseur and Matrix Reloaded again. Pweese. Also pool is a good plan of action. Expecting boys to jump at such opportunity to spend quality time with me. Or not.

Sexy lesbians eh Arts? Good good just my thing. *sarcastic look* Figure I should just become one and finish the whole fucking story. Apparently am not girly enough anyways so what the fuck is the difference anymore? *sigh* (Yes leave me alone let me fucking sigh Clegs). So I hang with many guys and get thrown off by an abundance of oestrogen, I know a few cars and like then (very few so it hardly counts!), I play pool, I cuss wind and I don't wear skirts (rarely spotted in skirts). Holy fuckin A. I mean truly get over it!!! If you don't take me for who I am you can go to fucking girly girl hell for all I care.
All guys don't like girly girls right? They must feel the need for some semblance of power I imagine that's why. I scoff at such. Dammit.
"Guys like girls who are not afraid of being themselves"? Come on Arthur. Really. Fuck.

Stef Stace Clegs and Ria picked me up (somehow I felt uhm out of place) and we went to Sweet Lime, after realising that some place called Flavours either did not exist or we could not find it. I don't know what the hell went on there. Passed in D'Wes. Crowded. Few scope but I guess it's better that I don't smell like a big cigarette. I crave pool though. Afterwards went to Shakers, which I pretty much begged for. Saw some peoples and actually met up with long lost friends. Yippee. The scope was okay in there although some people weren't really helpful in getting introduced to you know...anyone. *stares @ labster*

I quote Jhagroo in mega-stoned voice :"thaz one big fuckin glass dred!" to the size if the ice cream/choc cake thing. But yeh it was huge. Went to Ruby Tuesday's for dessert. Had caloric intake which made up for week of training. Dear God help? Rather scrumptious cheesecake and some ice cream/chocolate cake delish dessert. It's endorphin release did not suffice for mood though. Temporarily - yeh like 2 minutes.

Mood not done yet but I figure I should stop depressing everyone who reads this.
I should also sleep as I have a 9 am meeting and should get up latest 7:45. Am I even getting a ride there? Ugh. I need a car.

Also have missed Mulholland Drive and not peachy. Jay's gonna kill me. *sigh* OOOOHHH look it's showing again. Will my cable be back by next Wednesday? I hope bloody well so. It's showing at godforsaken hours too.
Right so am doing work. Aching slightly not sure why. Tummy not happy.

"Everything in it's right place.."

Gah I need an fast and easy way to be rid of nail-polish yellowed nails. Hideous really. Lime did not help as it usually does. Strange.
Apologies all around for lack of eloquent blogs. Lots of stuff is goig on (yet not) and I'm distracted. I have a good bit of work to catch up on that I've been slacking with for a while so wish me luck. I need like 10 million rabbit feet, 2 gajillion 4 leaf clovers and a handful of horseshoes.
Crashed out on a job and I have no regrets - not sure why because I should really feel some sort of guilt for not going to the interview/test. I didn't feel the vibe. Yes this is how I live.

Radiohead is awesome. Whee.

Alas so many designers so little surf time, so many fonts so little hard drive space. I am very easily distracted by such. Good night. I love you.

Oh God am so so tired. Need sleep terribly. Ugh.

CLEGS! Haha - not sure if that's good or bad that I figured that one out for myself you know. But oh well I'll use it anyway. Horn does not have such element of cool factor.
Yay have found another blogger. Brilliant really. Cute too.
Must update blog. Am sorry. Lotsa web work to do. :(

Full day tomorrow and not feeling the vibe at all - or maybe I'm just too tired to think or care right now. I love you all. *muah*

I'm smelling like a pretty berry letting my hair dry. I think it needs to cut. I spied one split end last night and so I have to go to the hairdresser soon. Hum. What cut peoples? Whatchya think?
I'm here listening to Frank Sinatra. Rather soothing. I could do with a hammock, laptop and a nice drink.

This afternoon before my walk I was taking in some Massive Attack and it was so so good. Meditating/dozing off to that music under the fan. Aah. Perfect moment. Sorta.
My whole body is sore especially my calves and I found out the first hike is Sunday. Eeek! I don'tknow if I'll be able to make it - not for hiking really but for other reasons. Not saying :) If you're smart you'll figure it out.

Been talking to the ex. Amicably. Amazing eh? I should not do that too often I think. After a while of that I get propositions to go out and it is irritating. I am too nice. Nice mode can turn to queen bitch mode instantly so I should watch myself. God's child - should be nice. Karma. Think about karma. Dum dee dum. Behaviour.

I miss Jus. He's been mia. I suppose doing some work. That's good. I should do mine. I end up sleeping and doing other stuff I shouldn't and doing house stuff.

I realise I need a lot of money very soon. I have to get some stuff and I am just bloody poor. Gawd. Need to start selling paintings or something. If only I can get my damn site going.

"I'm singing in the rain...I'm singing in the rain.."
Have been entertaining myself with tv but today some stupidass tractor busted the cable. Idiota!!! I hope we get it back son else will shrivel up into little ball and die slowly in my chair.

Yesterday I was watching Harry Potter again and I do believe my favourite line is Hermione's "Wot an idiot!!" when Harry went off folowing Draco on the remembrall chase. Sweet. Course I like Ron's "mental that one!" to Hermione's hyperness. That was groovy.
I checked out Sum of All Fears last night. Cool entertainment I guess. The unsexiest thing about Affleck is his complete lack of jawline. Suck. Poor thing. Of course I'd still take him I guess.
Need to see Mulholland Drive - so it's on my calendar for Thursday night at 10 pm on Starz. Jay is making me watch it - but I swear I was going to watch it anyway.
Whoever wants to love me please please send me Am�lie. It's supposed to come out on Starz as well but not feeling to wait. I could join a video club but am poor. Tough cookies for me. *sniff* I know some of you *ahem* have some movies though. *raises eyebrow*
The other day I got to see the original La Cage Aux Folles. I didn't realise it was Italian with a French title, French voiceing and English subtitles. That was very cool though. The remake was alright though I can barely remember it. Fairly close as well.
Need to get Animatrix.
I am saving my review of Matrix Reloaded still until I see it a few more times. I don't know when though. Not sure what the peoples are doing.
What else? Ok am done blondeblogging.

I am so so hungry. Dammit. This is not good and water is not helping. Ack. I hate hormones.
Also I need a full body massage. Any takers? *sigh* Didn't think so. Bastards.

sO vEry S0ber
Really. No really I am. I'm just amazingly tired so please excuse bad spelling or fragmented sentences/paragraphs and so on. Well right now. I wasn't sober Saturday night however. Not good. I blame it all on lack of food in tummy. I got a nasty head with 1 Smirnoff Ice and that is rather shameful indeed. Oh God. Am sowwy. Bah your fault for reaching late and making my food digest :P Okay...really my fault for not eating. Gah. It's not cool when you suddenly realise you're not exactly hearing anything anymore. Anyways I made it out very well thanks and did not throw up. I swear my body + alcohol = strangest thing.

So Clegs calls me this morning all excited about a hike. Not a particularly easy hike, but am willing to try it. I started "training" which is good right? I need it though. Not sure if it will come off - we'll see, but for now will go with the idea that we are. Inspiration really. I am so so tired now. Kinda excited about it anyways. Yay excitement. Yay. Adventure. Wheeeee. Not quite sure why I didn't think about doing this before...not enough inspiration/encouragement I suppose. The small hike in a couple weeks should be a nice start. Then I was watching MTV (oh for the love of God) Saturday morning and thinking oh cool, Road Rules adventure type stuff. Heck I'd go sky-diving and bungee jumping too.

Oh and that new Real World cast looks...just. Wow. The Irish gay guy is very very bloody hot. Not fair. Then there's some other bitch on Road Rules whose body is just friggin' magnificent. I was also thinking about how guys go crazy over the chicks with hot bodies on tv. We're all the same. There's no weaker sex, there's no battle of the sexes - we're all just a bunch of horny bastards. Yes we women look a guys like meat. Cooked meat generally. A nice filet mignon ya know? Okay am starting to ramble.

Stef was here earlier. The bitch makes me laugh too much. Yes you do. Dammit. I am not cracked. Entirely. *pout* He thought my fling dream was about SOMEONE. What the hell. I wish? I mean...really what the hell - if it was a nightmare I don't think that could have been good for flingyfling dream. Geeezuussss. That's a whole other story. I think I am freaky but not THAT freaky!

Shut up. Sleepy. Night.