I am alive! Muhahaha! Am stealing some computer time from my aunt at the office,. My baby died God only know how long ago (seems like forever - must be just over a week). The power supply finally went kaput one day (literally) and James the bastard brought nothing so I have to wait till Rossi comes next week. Sheesh. What fun.
So to all my fans...buhbye for now I love you! *kiss kiss* :)
How modest.

Oh Happy Belated Birthdays to Vee, Dani, Lisa, my uncle, Avin and whoever else I missed.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEFFYKINS!!!!I LOVVEEE YOUUU!!! *smacks with a bottle of rum* In honour of your so indianess you also get a FREE bottle of coconut oil.
*hugs* Mucho amor.

Meanwhile, I have half an hour to finish off some work before getting out of here to bullshit my way through an interview. :)

Wow Aadam and Arts blogged. Woo hoo! Stilled miffed about Darsy's though.
Arts dear, you can admit you like the Timberriver song you know without giving a full explanation why pop's okay. It really is - we don't mind - we're still your friends.

It's T�l�popmusik - Breathe - that's the Peugeot/Mitsubishi song. All over I'm seeing it as Mitsubishi song but locally it seems to be Peugeot? Someone explain that. Vee - Radiotronix? Where'd you get that from? Other T�l�popmusik songs are well done and worth hearing I suppose but nothing can quite top Breathe yet - at least for me.

So I'm in a bloggy mood I suspect. I have been sort of floaty the past couple days.

Saturday's StefFy/Karen b-day lime turned out alright, but too short for my liking. TGIF fucked us over and robbed us blindly. Morons. I don't think I'll be back for a while. Other than I'm totally broke now, those waiters are generally annoying (bastard robbers!).

I can't believe I went to sleep before 2 am on Saturday morning. I was home and tired for some reason. I had been cleaning/re-organising again. I still need to finish that. I've got a strip of carpet to install somewhere, but I don't know how much sense it makes considering I can't even move my bed. Let's hope it doesn't reach that far.

In other news, the move on Friday caused my stereo to muck up an dnow my speakers don't work very well. The sounds funky and volume is dipping and rising as if dust mites are just fucking around with me. My old shitty speakers have just about no volume, but at least it's something. I just pulled them out so yay mp3s while I work.

As for working, well, that's a whole other story. I really think the bank was scared of my "psychological evaluation". *snort* Oh my I am so broke. A big project sort of died midway through, so all work has basically stalled on that - and that was going to be the main portion of my money. Ugh.

I've been researching design stuff and attempting to prepare myself for September. My brain is so rusty that I suspect I may have a hard time adjusting. Eep! Nervous. Hope registration comes through alright because I'll have to curse them again.

Oh I'm so sleepy so very sleepy.
Yesterday was cool. Stef Stace and I along with some of Stef's relatives including his mommy went up to Asa Wright Nature Centre. Nice...bushy - not unlike much of what we're used to. I saw an empire butterfly though so that was just so so gorgeous.
Almost at the end of our tour the rain started pouring so we ended up rather soaked. It cooled things down a lot because it had been really hot, but it was cold. We got to the car and I started stripping. Lucky for me I was wearing a bathing suit type bottom so phew. Thank God for bras. We all drove around (topless us all) the north coast to get back home so that was just groovy. We ...well I took tons of groovy pics (they did too but I was there pushing my hand out the window for shots), prancing around in the backseat going oohhh pretty. Can't wait to see those when uploaded. No none of me are permitted goddammit.

Will write more when I have energy. Promise.

If I didn't tell you I shall now. I got in my degree program (B.A. Visual Arts) in UWI. Yay go me. Not like I doubted it of course. Note: this is not me being snotty or big-headed.

Those admin folks are real fuckwits. Oh my god. Monday I got notice that I was accepted and had to reply by Tuesday. Assholes. They spelt my name wrong and my address. Idiotas. So I had to go drop it in by hand.
So it has begun. The rush to do university things. I feel strange. Somehow it isn't as exciting as the thought of going away. I'm stuck with this for now but I think I will have to get a transfer at some point before I explode. Today I have to go to the doctor to get a medical. JOY! You know how much I like doctors. Just as much as I lovvve a good root canal.

Since I was out, I got other errands done as well and spent money that is just dwindling to absolutely nothing. *sigh* Depressed about that but starting not give a rat's ass. My ID card is so horrific. Wow. You can't believe one can look so crappy in a picture until you see your ID card. I finally got mine after years? I applied for it back in March. I don't know why you can't get it the same day. Morons.

I hate that sinking feeling you get when you know you just didn't do it. Failure. When you sink inside, when it all crumbles like an overbaked cookie. You weren't up to standard. You suck. Yeah you know that feeling. When you feel like something's being ripped from your body and you're trying to pull it back but it's there tearing away from you.

I just had to get that out. It was a fleeting feeling earlier, but still affected me and my general sense of well-being. Nothing big at all. Don't come and ask me what's wrong. Nothing dammit. Hehe. However my self-esteem is nil, but that's a whole other story.

I'm sorry but I must say, these sad little online ingrates are way too entertaining for words. Poor things. If I thought I was badly off, man oh man was I wrong. Not that I didn't know this before, but oh my God - testament to this was just now. You'd think a 28 year old would at least have gotten some semblance of class over the years, but apparently not. Tsk. When they can't speak English properly after 10 years that's just even better. I have much more fun scoffing. "I would like to meet with you sometimes" Pft.

Then they wonder why I'm single. That's why! No grammar no love. Fuck you pab and jhags. :)

Yesterday evening I went on a mad re-organising of house spree. I hate doilies. Oh my god. I don't know what's wrong with my mother. Getwiththefuckingprogram already woman. I got rid of what I could and re-organised the collections. *sigh* It's still sad looking but at least I can walk through the living room and kitchen without sighing loudly. I really need to re-do the house...one day! One day! I have big plans to throw away that horrific living room set that my grandmother bought for us (good bloody hell). Man I so wish one day by "accident" that thing gets set on fire (outside of course).

I can't help but rethink the space and make it totally livable (for picky ole me). Mom says she doesn't care about interior decor - so I think I should start taking up the challenge. Unfortunately she doesn't understand when I say I want something put away...far far away. These old ugly things that need to be burnt.

We're going to start collecting cows now...I believe and hope the frog stage is over. However this new collection thing will severely inhibit my decorating plans. Ugh. Maybe I should thwart those plans. Too much HGTV and Trading Spaces etc. Dammit.

I'm hoping the new floor will be installed within the next few months. Dad's taking his cool time to choose the damn flooring. I hate carpet. I want it gone gone gone. Course that'll be the living room alone and maybe the hall. God knows when/if my bedroom will be done... Least the new shelving unit is done. Yay. Very neat. Dad rules.

Okay enough ranting. I am going to see if I can sleep.

This must be some kind of record. Just got home from being out again with the gang minus Stef and Stace. Got in some pool (finally) and a couple baby shots of rum (blech) by Vaughn. Man...these people are badly influencing me to drink goddammit! :P These damn people who I love. Hehehe. It buffers the loneliness that's for damn sure.

*backspace*

So where the hell is my life going? Getting home at night, driving (being driven) on the highway, chilling to the music, looking at the lights on the hills, the reflectors on the highway, in the silence of good company. It's always a really good feeling. Love. Hum ho I don't know what I'd do without them.

I finally caught Signs. Interesting, though I'm not sure where my opinion stands just yet. I don't really think it's about the scary alien shit, but more about the human condition and belief and faith and all that shit. Nice take on it though. Most excellent cinematography I think.

Also somehow I watched that strange "horror" movie with 13 ghosts...can't remember. Whatever. It was shitty.

Blah. Should sleep.

You see!!!!! *points @ Vee* Fuckers!!! Not one of them to be trusted! None!!!!!!
Gah. I will skewer that bitch. Vee and I have decided that none are to be trusted ever again - even though I sorta figured that out a while ago. I'm now convinced again. Not surprised of course. Somehow this shit is almost always expected - but it doesn't make the pain less bearable.
Right. That's me in my little bored man hater mood. I wonder if it's out of my system now.

*hugs Veesypoo*

Well just got home from south lime with Stef and Jus and crew. Justin got his DNA all in a frenzy. New, refreshing, south air. It is a whole other world down there - truly it is. Now they can't tell me I live far - the fuckers. I think Jus was out of orbit for this one.

We got by Stef played some cards and then Miche and Chris decided they wanted to go Screamers. Lord. So we played some 4's and won one lost one and got on our way. Got food after we droppedthem off and went by Stac for a short while and sat there watching random stuff and Empire Records for a few.

Coming home was interesting because the car he borrowed is just ...as he says...ghetto. The fucking wipers don't work so ever so often in drizzling rain he had to step out and manually wipe the windshield. Dear Lord. We're home safe though...well I think he forgot to call me so I hope everything's alright.
Wonder if I'll be up till 5 again today.

Must...sleep...must ..stop..talking...shit...

I really abhor these egotistical degenerate fuckwits who have nothing to talk about but sex and their experience and who try to get you to talk about yours as if comparing would make you want to sleep with them. Truly!!! He asked the question about why romance is connected to sex. No wonder you're single asswipe. No one wants to fuck you because what you really need is a blowup doll.

I don't want to actually believe that all men have tricks and it's just about getting laid, and that romance is non-existent. Fuck, else I'll have absolutely no faith or hope ever again. I mean I see my friends all couplised...all of them...well except a few, and I think aww yeh that's love, that's romantic... I know that guy - he wouldn't go through these lengths fo rsex - that love thing makes them feel good right? Right. I must believe this. Love exists. Must..drill..into..head.

He was an idiot. Ugh I suppose I'm just glad I don't have to deal with any fuckwit douchebag right now. By the way this was stupid random WEST INDIAN MAN on IRC. Sorry these days my hope in West Indian men are just at ground -100. Sorry guys. You know I love you - but just not like that. There is a chance though if you're not an asshole I may be able to tolerate your ass.

Well my monitor was fixed and my baby's back and working alright, but needs a new mobo apparently so James (frick - another one!!!) is helping me out so yay go him! Let's hope that works out good enough. Have to talk to Gosine in the morning when I arise - if I arise.
Apparently it has to do with heat and the mobo dying and poor ventilation...something's up with my case and the ventilation is on the wrong side!! Wtf! It's been like that since I got it - could they have all been wrong? Ah well it will get sorted out I imagine.
So am back yay - but still with borrowed keyboard I expect I should give back tomorrow so I'll be back with old shitty. :( *sniffles*

Goddamn lookin through hardware and stores etc I feel so tempted to upgrade, but I can't. Alas. I haven't even gotten my headset yet. Sheesh.

Now the mundane chore to reinstall all my apps. Ugh. Getting Trillian in order was at ask by itself - well with ICQ alone which decided to fuck up just for fucking up sake.
*hugs my baby*

Whee! So, Finding Nemo rocks my socks!! I don't even have socks (ok maybe 1 pair) and they are so rocked! Oh my word!! Righteous!!! I want to see it a gajillion more times! I am gonna be such a kid when I get it, watching it over and over and over. Whoa!Sweet!

Sleep time as you can tell.

This will probably be my last post for a while, so enjoy it. I will miss this happy little place. I will miss my baby. *hugs puter*

Blogger is either fucked looking again (another revamp?) or using IE 5 sucks donkey balls. I re-formatted today, so it has been quite a long tiresome day of trying to get things sorted out and revamped. First the idiotic video driver wouldn't install so I had to get my modem working to get it. Dumb thing. Had me close to shoving the whole bloody thing. I think I'm relatively back to normal so that's good I suppose. If I have to do this again I'll surely scream. I have some old software and some new stuff. MSN 6 is just way too pretty for its own good. Way too fancy - am going back to Trillian I think.

It's going to take a few days after I get back my baby to fully get back to normal but at least it's fun and well things are now much cleaner. I don't even want to put anything on my new clean gorgeous HD. How geeky.

Right, so otherwise as I'm settling down here you may have noticed that my g's and h's and 's are working. This is because I borrowed a keyboard. Didn't have time to go buy one today as I was busy with cleaning up and all of that, so I got one from my neighbour. Will surely give it back tomorrow though.

I have such a full day tomorrow that I don't know how I'm gonna get through it all. At least I won't be bored. No doubt about that! I may finally see Finding Nemo. Yay!

Last Friday we played cards with Justin and Miche. Everyone else salted us for our lime! Pft! At least Jus and I won all our games! Muahahhaa. Okay enough of that I am off to organise myself for tomorrow.

*hugs puter* I'll see you in a week...hopefully!

This will probably be my last post for a while, so enjoy it. I will miss this happy little place. I will miss my baby. *hugs puter*
Blogger is either fucked or using IE 5 sucks donkey balls. I re-formatted today, so it has been quite a long tiresome day of trying to get things sorted out and revamped. First the idiotic video driver wouldn't install so I had to get my modem working to get it. Dumb thing. Had me close to shoving the whole bloody thing. I think I'm relatively back to normal so that's good I suppose. If I have to do this again I'll surely scream. I have some old software and some new stuff. MSN 6 is just way too pretty for its own good. Way too fancy - am going back to Trillian I think.
It's going to take a few days after I get back my baby to fully get back to normal but at least it's fun and well things are now much cleaner. I don't even want to put anything on my new clean gorgeous HD. How geeky.

Right, so otherwise as I'm settling down here you may have noticed that my g's and h's and 's are working. This is because I borrowed a keyboard. Didn't have time to go buy one today as I was busy with cleaning up and all of that, so I got one from my neighbour. Will surely give it back tomorrow though.

I have such a full day tomorrow that I don't know how I'm gonna get through it all. At least I won't be bored. No doubt about that! I may finally see Finding Nemo. Yay!

Last Friday we played cards with Justin and Miche. Everyone else salted us for our lime! Pft! At least Jus and I won all our games! Muahahhaa. Okay enough of that I am off to organise myself for tomorrow.

*hugs puter*

O my. Typin witout tese keys suck royally. Tese ave been te most ilarious convos of late. I was tempted to o buy a new keyboard today but I ot to cleanin and well now my room is in a mess and I refuse to move. Ba. New bloody kb tomorrow and ten next week am sendin everytin to fix. Bastard!! Work!!
Need storae for art supplies and stuff in room. ave way too muc sit. Sorry you ave to fill in te blanks. Tink of it as a ame okay? :)

Lol @ wole blo.

I dont know if its my creativity (I make it sound like a malady) that makes me do everything artistically - down to eating and ice cream cone. The g and h have decided to resist pressage. Lord knows how many of those are used frequently. Dammit!!! Very annoyin! I refuse to cut and paste anymore. *scream*
My power supply is not well and also my monitor. Wonderful. So I have to send them to fix so I have to find time to do that as well. I have to back up all my data as well and do a little re-format because my baby is dirty. Erk.

I got threatened to get put out of the car...several times tonight. I can't help it if they're making me laugh. Jhags is a bastard laugher person. Once he starts the shit I can't stop. Goddamn it. Anji made me put on the infamous Nike beanie cap then started cracking up and said I looked like an elf. Well...right then I couldn't stop laughing. Stace and Stef didn't quite get what was going on in the backseat. He spun around and cursedpoor little elfy me. Then I made Anj put it on. She too looked like an elf and so did Stace. *gasp* Is this some sort of magical anti-girl device for this beanie? Hummm! Curious - very curious.

We dragged Jus and Miche to the cinema too and when we got there (late) we found out that Nemo was sold out. They had found the fishy! Tsk. Ended up seeing The Italian Job, which as Stef commented, was a big ad for Minis. It was eye candyish however but Norton was not as impressive as he has been in other movies. Cinematography was alright but the cars - wow. Wheeeeee! Vroom! I swear I am going to be vrooming in my sleep. Goddamn. It was funny though. Cute. Overall not bad. Soundtrack fairly decent too.

I can't even begin to blog all the bloggy type things that were said. I believe Stef or Jus need to blog about the other stuff - they can take care of that - if they remember. My brain is shutting down, so goodnight!

I was feeling idle the other day so I scanned Higgins and Cookiepoo.



Aren't they just adorable? Yes you're being forced to say yes. My babies! Higs looks brownish here but looks much darker usually. He's got a bad attitude and is always grumpy. He's has been a friend for a while - since I was about 5 I think. That makes him about 18 years old this Christmas. Wowser! Cookie's just a little darling - doesn't say a word and forever has a good outlook on life. Ah that enchanting grin. See what cookies do to you? He resides atop my monitor. I should make him take a bath at some point though - just a tad dingy.

Addicted to Badly Drawn Boy and La India again. This stuff is so cool. Goddayum. I could get lost in this for a while but I need new music again. I also must re-sort my mp3s and burn off what hasn't been burnt off - but they're all mixed up and I have about 23 mp3 cds to go through. Ugh 4 are still missing and I need to get the boy to give me back my collection. That's almost all my damn techno. Frick. I'd like to hear those classics now goddamn it.
My new favourite La India song is Seduceme.
My fave Badly Drawn Boy sing is Once Around The Block - courtesy Jaysen who seems to have impeccable taste in music. *grin*

My hair is so long now! I need a snippety snip so badly. It's now mid-back. I'm poor though so I may have to wait a while to go to the hairdresser. Don't worry I'm not cutting it all off.

Yesterday afternoon my mom, aunt and I went to get some goodies for mom's birthday. Good grief - Grand Bazaar (not my favourite p lace in the world) was packed! Monday afternoon? Wtf? Vie de France is pathetic in there - at least yesterday. Le Jardin is much better and even more affordable. We oinked out on about 4 different types of cake. Christ. Got home and dad had gotten some Smirnoff and decadent looking chocolate ice cream which I haven't had yet. I was a good girl but I drank about half an Ice and capped out for a couple hours. My body does weird things with alcohol. *sigh* Yuck I just burped the Ice.

I've been jaded of late. I've managed to pull off a few Photoshoppy things but haven't been able to bring myself to do much of anything else. I have no real zeal or encouragement to do any work at all. People must want to kill me by now. I believe I have a couple weeks before people start calling me to complain. Yay. I want to finish off those projects I have due and end it. I don't really want to do anymore web design for now. My site is trouble enough.

I've gotten a surprising amount done on the updated site so far and I should possibly upload it. I don't know if I'm quite ready to shock the world yet. The main part with my art and stuff have yet to be completed but I've been having other ideas for that. Mike helped me night before and let me experiment with a gallery utility that is cool but seems rather complicated - dealing with PHP and so forth. My brain shuts down with the mention of such.

I could probably do well in web design if I really put my mind to it but I'm a lazy bastard. I really hate coding. You see text shit other than normal stuff like blogs - I just don't like it. My senses have to be overloaded. My eyes need to work. Heck I used to (and probably will continue) to buy CD's because of the eye candy appeal. Give me a layout any day, and of late I find that ability waning. What I want to do can't really be done in simple HTML. Oh no, I've been spoilt looking at too many gorgeous Flash sites. Why can't I just order people around to do these things for me? Right I'd need money for that. I want to be some sort of creative director, but they won't hire me. What on earth do I have to start doing to get into a position like that? I have good ideas dammit. Really I do. *sigh*Of course not many people appreciate such ideas. I'm eccentric. Wonderful. Trinidad is such a shithole when it comes to art appreciation.

So if you were wondering what the fuck was wrong with me there you go. There's more but I digress - till later on.

My blogbitches! Hehehehe.
Where is Rich? Too busy with FLOS I imagine to even check my blog! Humph! At least I have a couple newbies reading every day. Kickass. I love you guys.
Vee rocks! Just thought I'd mention that. Course the bitch won't risk it and pick up OOTP while Matthew's asleep. Sheesh. Get the bloody book already - run away and hide in your room for a day! She's so nice. Tsk.
Stef - *snicker* Yes Harry's an angsty teenager but I feel that. A lot. I think it may have a lot to do with JK herself. I likey.
I wish Stace would hurry the hell up and re-design already! Even if she does - will she blog? *cue mystery music*
Arthur - blog. At least I spoke to him so I know he's alive.
Justin's here and I haven't spoken to him since Friday night. I should give him a holler en la ma?ana and see what he's doing.
Stac - how are your teeth?
Where the hell is Aadam? I mean did the Architect kill him? This boy has me checking his damnblog every day!

Later on :
I'm feeling to procrastinate so I can rant on about my rather puerile feelings of late. *sigh* There is Photoshop leering at me. There is yet some modicum of guilt that I'm paying more attention to something that won't actually make me money.

Ok nevermind I'm not in the mood anymore. You'll just have to hang on to your monitors for the tale of my angst and bitterness. :)